


The Suffering Luck

by potteruniverse1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, British Comedy, Comedy, Drama & Romance, F/F, Family Drama, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Secrets, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potteruniverse1/pseuds/potteruniverse1
Summary: Everything Sirius wanted was to run away from home, leaving his family behind but he just didn’t want to go without his little brother.And none of them thought that this visit would bring Regulus and James together.
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story will be continued and updated soon ;)

It was quite at Grimmwald Place, Walburga and Orion Black left the manor for a few days to visit their relatives. They left Sirius and Regulus at home, wanting them to take care of the house. The brothers were in Sirius’ room, he was packing his suitcase while Regulus was watching him, sitting on the bed. Time passed by and no one said even a word until Sirius looked up at his brother. Their eyes were meeting in the middle. “You- you really want to leave?” Regulus finally asked. Siri just nodded. Reg didn’t want Sirius to leave. He didn’t want his brother to go away, his best friend, his everything... “To James?” He asked and Sirius nodded again, making sure he had everything he needed in his suitcase. Regulus looked down on the floor, his two feet touching each other nervously. Sirius looked up at his brother again. “Come with-“  
“No.” He interrupted him fast. He couldn’t leave, he was part of this family. He couldn’t leave and he’d already told this to Sirius so often. “Why?”  
“You already know the answer...” Regulus tried to be strong, to not show any emotions but Sirius could see the pain in his eyes. Reg didn’t really want to stay, he forced himself to do it. Sirius sat down on the bed next to him. “Regulus-“ he touched his hand. “No.”  
“Please...” Siri’s voice broke and suddenly tears started running down his cheeks and neck. He had always been the most emotional of both them. Their parents taught them that boys don’t cry. That was maybe the reason why Sirius cried often, because he enjoyed to do the exactly opposite of what his parents told him to do, even when he got punished for this. But Regulus always tried to do what they told him. He wanted to be a good soon, an heir of Black... but he knew that it stopped him so much from being free... he wanted to be free... but he could never... “Sirius I can’t!” He turned his head to Sirius, putting both of his hands on Sirius’ cheek. “Yes, yes you can! Just- just come with me! James wouldn’t mind!” James wasn’t Regulus’ problem, he wasn’t the thing which stopped him from running away. It was because he was one of the Blacks, because he belonged in here. “Why- why don’t you want to come with me? All you need to do is pack your things and run away! We don’t need to come back again! Never ever! All the punishments and all the pain... it will be all gone!” It sounded so beautiful to Regulus. ‘It will be all gone...’ But he just couldn’t. “They will search us!” He needed some arguments, he didn’t only not want to come with his brother, he wanted him to stay. “They won’t find us!” Sirius almost whispered, both them were already holding their voice low, the whole conversation long. “They won’t even try to find us!” Sirius knew, the last thing his family wanted was him. He was a disappointment, a Gryffindor... But Regulus... for sure he was the perfect son, he was loyal and politely to his family and always did everything they told him. He also did things wrong but he didn’t really got punished for it. Sirius saved him, let himself getting punished instead of his brother, he could’ve never watched that.  
“But I just can’t...”   
“Why not?” Sirius put his hands on Regulus’ which were still resting on Siri’s cheeks. “Because...” Regulus started crying as well, he broke down into his brother’s arms. “Please don’t leave, Sirius I need you!” Sirius hugged him tightly, rubbing his back. He would stay, he told Regulus that he would stay if he wants him to. But Reg’d always told him that he would be fine. The whole day long. ‘I just want you to be happy...’ ‘I’ll be fine...’ ‘It’s alright...’ ‘Just go...’ But Regulus needed Sirius. As much as Sirius needed Regulus. “Come with me instead... or I will kidnap you!” Sirius laughed a bit but his brother didn’t think that it was funny in any way. He was just crying into Sirius’ chest. He’d always felt so comfortable in these arms. “Regulus please! I beg you!” Sirius was crying again, he knew that this wouldn’t change anything, he could never convince Regulus to come with him. “I-I can’t-“ Regulus was sick of saying that. So sick. Everything he wanted was to leave but he couldn’t. He tried to remember what Sirius told him. ‘They’re not a real family, they use you, they don’t love you like they should!’ And what he told about James’ family. ‘They’re so nice and loving the worst punishment you can get there is being grounded!’ Being grounded? His brother and him were kinda grounded all summer long! It sounded so tempting, so inviting... And Sirius could be happy while staying with his brother. And James wouldn’t mind. Sirius was right. Regulus didn’t love his parents and they didn’t love him. They’d never say ‘I love you.’ They’d never huge him. They’d never cared at all. But Sirius did... There was still silence between the two brothers. Both of them still tearing but crying out loud. “I can’t...” Regulus sighed. “I can’t but... but I will...” It suddenly felt so much better.  
“What?”  
“I will go with you. Right now.” Regulus pulled away to look at Sirius. Sirius was confused but Regulus had already stood up. “Come on and help me.” He whipped away his tears. “We’re going to pack my things.” And there was suddenly a smile on both of their faces. The last time both of them smiled together was years ago. Regulus rarely smiled at all. But there it was, a tiny smile.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a long way to James' house. He was living in a muggle suburb near London while the Blacks were living somewhere outside in the wizarding world, far away from London. They couldn't use any magic to get there, the ministry would find out immediately.  
The sun was already falling down when a tired Regulus and a hungry Sirius reached a small gas station somewhere at a lonely road. "Where are we?" Regulus whispered dragging his suitcase around. "I don't know..." Sirius whispered back, opening the door of the shop. It had a big 'OPEN 24H' sign on it. The light inside was fluttering and a man was sitting behind a counter. "I will buy us something to eat..." Sirius said, not looking at Regulus while walking to a fridge full of sandwiches and soda.  
"You don't need to..."  
"Yes." Sirius turned around. He hated it when Regulus didn't eat anything. Just like Remus didn't eat. Regulus turned away his head. He was hungry but he often didn't eat. He couldn't eat when he was mentally not ok. And he was never mentally ok. It all started with his parents. When they started to punish Sirius with curses. And then Sirius was in Hogwarts without him. And then Regulus got sorted into a different house than Sirius got. And Sirius started having new best friends... Regulus stopped feeling special... he always felt so special around Sirius. He was his best friend...   
Sirius took two sandwiches and two cokes before he went to the counter and payed. "You must be tired." He said as they were leaving again. The sun had already disappeared completely as they sat down outside on the ground. Regulus just nodded, still looking away from his brother. "It's going to be alright! I promise!" Sirius whispered, trying to calm them down. "It's never going to be the same again..." Regulus replied with a shaky voice and looked down on the floor. They will never be the same again. Two smiling kids, playing outside in the garden, reading books on the stairs, hiding under blankest, giggling... only left as memories.  
"I-I'm sorry..." Sirius turned away as well. A tear was falling down on the cold asphalt.  
"It's not your fault..." Regulus turned back again, touching Sirius' shoulder with a sigh before pulling him into a hug. "Where do we wanna sleep tonight?" Regulus whispered into his brother's chest. "I don't know..." he whined. "It's alright Sirius. Let's stay here, we can buy breakfast here as well tomorrow..." He pulled away for a second to take a bite of his sandwich. For Sirius. 

"Sirius, Sirius, I can see the Big Ben!" Regulus was running forward, pointing at a building. After two days they finally reached London town. Last night they didn't find a shop or a gas station, both of them slept on a wet field. It had to rain that night. Sirius' hair was still wet and full of grass. Both of the brothers looked like some homeless Londoners. "How far is it away till James' house?" Regulus stopped and turned back to Sirius. "A few kilometres. We can go by bus." Siri smiled a bit because they didn't need to walk that way. The whole trip was terrible. Hot at day time, freezing at night. Summer weather. They had luck that they didn't get into a thunderstorm. Only rain...


	3. Chapter 3

"And he really doesn't mind?"   
"No, he doesn't!" Sirius rolled his eyes after Regulus asked him that question for the 100th time. James has never had a problem with Regulus. They didn't had much in common but he didn't mind him either. Sirius took the last steps before reaching the Potter's door bell. They didn't had to wait long until they heard a familiar voice. "I'm opening mum!" It was James running down stairs. He took a stop in front of the mirror before he opened the door. "Hi- Sirius? For Merlin's sake what are you doing here?!" He was shocked at first. This just couldn't be real at all!   
"James I-"  
"Come in! Hey Regulus?" He was confused but guided them into the living room. On the way he remembered what Sirius was telling him about 'running away from home'. "You both must be exhausting! Want something to eat or to drink?" Sirius nodded. "What about you Regulus?"  
"No, thank you, I'm fine." Regulus stomach grumbled.  
"I will make something to eat for you both and make your beds. Oh and Sirius, Remus is coming tomorrow! Resting for a few weeks."  
Sirius smiled.   
"You can use our shower, we don't mind." James said before he left into the kitchen. 

"James, darling?" Mrs Potter was coming downstairs and checking the living room until she realised two visitors. "Sirius?"  
He stood up fast. "Mrs Potter! I-I can explain!"   
She just laughed softly with a big smile on her face. "Hey, it's alright! You know, you're always welcome here!"   
"Thank you Mrs Potter, I promise I won't bother you!"  
She just shook her head. "Friends of James are always welcome here! And who's that beautiful boy next to you?"   
"It's-It's my brother. Say hi Regulus!"   
Regulus stood up as well, reaching out for Mrs Potter's hand but instead she just pulled him into a hug. "You both really need to take a shower!" She laughed. "Did you two walk the whole way from your mania to our house?"   
Sirius nodded.   
"Oh honeys, you really need some food and sleep! James!" Mrs Potter left into the kitchen as well.  
"Do you mind if I go and take a shower first?" Sirius looked over to his brother. Regulus rolled his eyes. "Sure princess."   
"Excuse me? Have you even seen me? I look terrible?"   
"But I don't or..."   
"You're always looking adorable!" Sirius laughed before he left to the bathroom.   
"I don't..." Regulus whispered angrily. 

"I've got sandwiches and apple juice." James smiled and sat down next to Regulus. They just sat there like that for a while until James stood up again. "Ok so you don't want anything? I will go back to the kitchen again..." He sighed and actually didn't want to leave. He knew that Regulus probably hated him but he wanted to be friends so badly! For Sirius...   
"Wait!" Regulus almost whispered, his voice was shaky. "I-I'd like one... or two maybe..."   
"Or three?" James laughed and sat down next to Regulus again. The young boy was still covered with mud and his clothes were still cool and damp. His black hair was falling down in his face and James kinda felt that strange urge to put them behind Reg's ear. "So..." Prongs tried to start some small talk while the other was eating his first sandwich. "How are you?"  
Regulus almost choked on the sandwich. Was he laughing? "You're so stupid, Potter!" Yes he was laughing. "What? Why?" James was almost panicking but Regulus just rolled his eyes and took another bite from his sandwich. "I've walked miles on my feet to your house, I'm still wet and muddy and you're asking me how I am?"  
James had to laugh at the 'wet' part.   
"Ugh." Regulus turned away, he didn't want to eat his sandwich while facing such an obnoxious git. As James stoped laughing again he cleared his throat. "Well... I mean apart from that..?"   
"I just gave up everything to sit here in this house with a stupid chad, my brother and soon with his boyfriend."  
"Who's the stupid chad?"   
"Omg you!"   
Sirius came downstairs again, smelling like a damn perfume model. "Sirius, I can't stand him! Can we go somewhere else? Like, do you also have some smarter friends?" Regulus started protesting but Sirius just had to laugh and sat down next to them on the couch, taking a sandwich. "Thank you James!" He smiled at him.   
Regulus stood up and rolled his eyes. "I will take a shower now. I hope my other clothes aren't wet as well- and don't you dare to laugh again, Potter!" James just grinned and watched at Regulus as this one left.   
"What are you staring at James?" Sirius started laughing. "Ugh, just nothing..."   
"Prongsieeeee..!"   
"Ok but like... have you ever realised how handsome Blacks are? You, Regulus, Narcissa, Andromeda, Bellatrix..."   
Sirius started laughing. "I know that I'm handsome and what you're talking about is called bisexuality, James!"   
"What? No! I'm not crushing on you... y'all are just handsome." James sighed. "Look, you think Marlene is handsome too but you're not crushing on here!"   
Sirius flattered with his eyes before he started to giggle. "Sure, how could I just think of that! You're already obsessed with Evans!"  
"Shut it, I'm not obsessed!"   
"Mhm... suuuure, you're not constantly flirting with her and always asking her out on a date but she always says 'no' or 'Piss off Potter!'"   
"What are you trying to tell me, Sirius?"   
"It's time for a change!" James started laughing.   
"No, I'm serious!"   
"Yes you are!"

Regulus was slowly walking around in the bathroom. The floor was cold and the window open, blowing warm wind inside. He put off his shirt and walked over to close it. Nobody was supposed to see him naked. Regulus sighed, leading his finger on his chest. He wasn't happy about his body... or his personality. He was so tall, lank and pall. He softly dropped his head against the mirror. His body started shaking and his mind swiped to this school year. He was in year 4th, the first year where feelings were growing and students giggling... everyone told him how beautiful Sirius was... and Regulus? He was less beautiful, less cool and so useless... he felt so ugly. He did never had any real friends. He did never really cared about other's opinions... but this... it hurt...  
'You need to eat something! It will kill you!' 'Go to sleep, you're looking terrible!' 'Smile!' But he couldn't. His life made him fed up. He was too busy... too worried... Family, school, friends...  
Regulus wanted to cry. But he couldn't. He usually never cries. He wasn't supposed to.   
He was a Black... 

Regulus stepped down stairs. He was buttoning up his white shirt as he reached the living room. Sirius and James were still sitting on the couch. The color white of his shirt let Regulus look less pale than in black but he couldn't help his love for dark clothes (and white blouses).   
He sat down next to the boys on the couch.   
"I think I will go to sleep now. I'm very exhausted and tired." Sirius stood up. "You're always tired!" Regulus rolled his eyes.   
"I will show you your room. You can sleep in the guest room with Remus and Regulus can sleep in mine."  
"What about you James? Where do you sleep?"   
"In my room on the floor on a mattress." He smiled at Reggie. "Before you go Potter, can I use your garden or is it hunted just like ours?" James started laughing.  
"He's not joking James!" Sirius laughed as well.   
"Nope, ours isn't. You can go outside whenever you want." He was still laughing a bit.  
"Obnoxious." Regulus took a book which wasn't all wet cause of the rain and sat down outside on the grass while James and Sirius were walking upstairs. 

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shinning directly in Regulus' face. He closed his eyes to inhale the warmth. He opened them again just like he opened his book.   
'Romeo and Juliet' It was his favourite book. He'd forgotten to count how often he'd already read it. He flipped through the pages and decided to start with the first page. He lied down, leaning up with one arm on the ground. 

"Hey hey."   
Regulus dropped his head into his book. James' voice was the last thing he needed right now. "What are you reading?" James sat down next to him. "Nothing right now. Because you're interrupting me."  
"Oh... I'm sorry."   
"Just stop it! Stop being nice to me just because Sirius told you to!"  
"That's not-" James sat up straighter. "He told me to be nice to his little brother, yes. But that doesn't mean that I can't decide about it on mine own. You're my guest, I'm always nice to my guests."   
"You didn't even invite me..."   
"Right, but does that mean that I should be mean to you? You went through a lot or still do and I hardly know you. Only the things Sirius told me about you. So I want to be nice to you and get to know you."  
Regulus started laughing sarcastically. He only laughs sarcastically. The last time he laughed out of joy was years ago.  
"What? What's wrong?" James watched him laughing, confused.  
"You want to get to know me?"  
James nodded.   
"There is nothing interesting to know about me."   
"Then tell me what you're reading."  
Regulus sighed, showing James his book. "Romeo and Juliet."   
"Really? That's my favourite book!" James grabbed it, carefully feeling the book cover under his fingers.  
Regulus started laughing again.  
Jamie couldn't decide whether this laugh was attractive or disrespectful.   
"You can read?" Reg was still laughing.   
"Of course I can!" James had to laugh as well. "I mean... everyone thinks I can't! But I can!"   
"To impress Lily Evans?"   
"Maybe..." James chuckled. "Or maybe because I want to look smarter than Sirius does."   
"Sirius looks zero smart!" Regulus started laughing harder. James noticed that Regulus' laugh wasn't cause of joy. And he noticed that he had never seen Regulus smile or laugh out of joy... "You're right!" He pushed Regulus softly.   
"Neither are you!" Regulus just couldn't stop laughing.   
"Mean! I look at least two smart!"  
"But just because you have glasses and know that 'Romeo and Juliet' is a book and not an action movie!" Regulus stoped laughing and pushed James back. This guy just smiled at Reggie. "Well, as I said, it's my favourite book!" He gave the book back to the boy. Now Regulus had to hide a tiny smile. "Really?"  
"Yes! It's so romantic! Two people who are in love and kill themselves because they can't live without the other!"   
"Sounds like Sirius and Remus!" Regulus chuckled. "Right!" James chuckled with him together. "I want to have a relationships like that!"   
"I think everyone does..." Reggie looked down at the grass. It was fresh green and cool.   
"Everything alright baby Black?"  
Regulus nodded, looking up at James. "I can tell it isn't." He said.  
Reg shrugged. "It was never everything alright. It will never... that's life..."   
James looked at him as well, worried. "Maybe you're right... but everyone deserves a bit luck."   
"My luck is suffering..."   
James sighed. It was 'damn I'm so sorry' sigh.   
"Well... I can tell ya, you're also not happy at all, are you?"   
"Well if you're talking about my love life then no. But I'm happy that you and Sirius are here."   
"You're happy that I'm here?"  
James nodded.   
"Nobody is happy about my presence..."   
"I am!" James smiled again and Regulus nodded like he tried to believe him. "Aren't you tired?" James asked after a while of silence. It wasn't even an uncomfortable silence. It was just normal silence.   
"I'm never tired."  
"I'm sure you are."   
"No I'm not."   
"Sure?"   
"Yes."  
"Ok."   
"Maybe a bit."   
"Wanna go to bed?"   
"Is it dry?"  
"Why should my bed be wet?" James started laughing.   
"Just because I don't want to sleep in the rain ever again! I mean, I like rain. But I don't like sleeping in the rain."   
James smiled at him again. "Come on! I will show you my room." 

It was a big room. Full of band and quidditch posters. Just like Sirius' room would look like if his parents would allow him to design it how he wants to.   
It also had a huge bed. It had space for two people. Regulus had to laugh cause James was so single, nobody is ever going to sleep there with him together.   
It had a desk full of papers with a chair. A wardrobe, shelves... with books! And instead of windows it had a big glass door to James' own balcony. You could see that there was still daylight outside.   
"Your house is really modern. It even has a TV!" Regulus said with a tiny bit of surprise in his voice.  
James laughed. "Yup."   
"I... I have never watched TV before..."   
"Really?" James gasped.   
Regulus shook his head. "Well, we don't have a TV and I've never been to a house with a TV before..."  
"How do you even know how it looks like?" James chuckled.   
"Sirius drew me a picture of it and he told me that you can watch movies, shows, series and even sports on TV!"   
"If you want to, we can watch TV tomorrow."   
"Really?" Regulus looked excited.  
"Yes but I think all you need is sleep now."   
Regulus nodded.   
There was a huge carpet on the floor with a mattress on it. "I can sleep there." Regulus sat down.  
"No, no, I will sleep there. You can take the bed."   
"What? No! It's your bed and-"   
"But it's my mattress as I well!" James laughed.   
"But I really don't want to-"   
"No, really! It's not that of a big deal!"   
"Well... maybe we could share the bed." Regulus stood up again. "Or the mattress, since both of us want to sleep there." He laughed. It didn't sounded sarcastically this time. But also not like it would be joy.   
"Well, I'd prefer sharing the bed!" James laughed as well.   
"Great." Regulus let himself fall down on it. It was really fluffy and comfortable. He crawled up on the right side of it. "I will stay on mine side and you will stay on yours." Regulus mumbled into the blankets. James nodded with a smile. He loved making people happy. Maybe Regulus wasn't happy at all but at least he wasn't upset or annoyed anymore. "I will leave you alone now, right?" Regulus nodded and James walked out of the door. Closing it quietly behind him.   
"What a snob." Regulus mumbled into his pillow after James had left.


	4. Chapter 4

Regulus woke up in a lighted room after a nightmare. It was the same nightmare he had almost every night. It was about him drowning in a dark, deep lake or something.   
He sat up, looking around. It looked like James had already left to go downstairs and make breakfast. So Reggie stood up as well. Stretching himself. He fall asleep in his clothes yesterday. His blouses had wrinkles all over it now. Maybe he could spell it blank again or James had an iron? Reg rubbed his eyes, he was still tired from everything. The boy looked through his suitcase and decided to wear some shorts and a black short-sleeved blouse today. 

"Don't force me to slap you with that toast!" Sirius and James were laughing in the kitchen. Doing some ridiculous stuff as always. They turned around to Regulus as soon as they both recognised him. "Good Morning! Did you sleep well?"   
"Kind of..." He sat down on a chair next to Sirius. "What was wrong?" Both of the tall boys asked him at the same time.  
"Just a nightmare..."   
Sirius took Reggie's hand. "Hey, it's alright. It was just a bad dream. You know that."   
Regulus nodded. Sirius does that all the time. Reg kinda liked it, it made sure that Siri cared about him.   
"You hungry?" James turned around. He was standing on the stove, making pancakes. Regulus nodded. He was never really hungry but it would make the others worry if he doesn't eat anything at all. 

James' garden was huge as well. Everything at that house was huge. Of course not as huge as the Black manor! But much more comfortable.   
The garden had a tree with a tree house in it. A few bushes and flowers, a terrace with a table, chairs and a parasol. And a pool.  
James and Sirius were chasing each other while Regulus was sitting in the grass again, reading his book and trying that he doesn't get sunburned. He was full of suncream and wearing one of Sirius' super gay sunglasses.  
"Wanna come swimming with us?" James sat down next to Reggie but this one just shook his head without looking up from his novel. "Oh come on baby Black, it's going to be fun!" He took Regulus' hand and dragged him to the pool. "Potter! No means no!" He dropped his book into the grass. James let go of Reggie's hand and jumped into the pool. Some water drops reached the Slytherin boy's shirt before he pulled it of. He sat down on the edge of the pool, dropping his feet into the water. "Come in Reg! The water has a great temperature!" Sirius swam over to the edge where his brother was sitting.   
"No, it's alright, I will stay here..."  
James swam over as well. "Why don't you want to come in? It's not deep." He reached out for Reggie's hand. Regulus took it but didn't jump into the water. "It's just..." He tried to find an excuse. "the water is too cold." It was a lie. "Don't come with that Reggie!" Sirius started laughing. "You're taking the coldest showers in whole England!" Sirius wasn't sure if he actually knew the real reason why Regulus didn't want to jump in but he had a guess.  
James came closer, with Reg's hand in his. "What's wrong Regulus? You can tell us! We're good secret keepers."   
"The best!" Sirius bursted in. "The marauders!" The elder brother smiled proudly.   
Regulus looked away, being ashamed of being scared. "There're just these nightmares..." He said. It looked like he was talking to that tree near him. "It's about me... drowning... and maybe it's just a normal nightmare but what- what if it's a prophecy..?"   
"Nobel Regulus Black drowned in James Potter's pool in presence of two young men who could've helped him to survive!" James started laughing but Sirius looked damn worried, staying behind James in the water. It really wasn't deep, it just got to the middle of his chest. But Regulus was smaller yet and his big brother knew about those nightmares. "It's just..." Reg tried to talk slowly so his voice won't break. "It's just that I don't want to take any risks."   
"Are you sure it could be a prophecy?" James asked curiously. Regulus nodded. "There's this gift... I can see the future... but I can't control it yet."   
"Wow..." James was impressed.  
"That's not wow! I get to know things I don't want to know! Even if it's just seeing myself failing the next exam while I'm still studying!"  
"You're never failing an exam!" Sirius had to laugh.   
"80/100 points is failing for me!"  
"Wha- I'd be happy if I had so many points and Remus would be so proud of me!"   
"Well, our parents don't force you to get at least 95/100 points! Father said: '80/100? That means you've got 20% wrong! You're such a disappointment for this family! Do you know what that means?!"  
"REGULUS ARCTURUS STOP!" Sirius had to burst in. It was one of the reasons why they left. Because after such a speech there is punishment. And getting punished by Mr and Mrs Black is like walking into death, like being in Azkaban.  
"I'm sorry..." Regulus whispered.  
"It's ok." His brother sighed. "You didn't mean to-" Suddenly water splashed all over Sirius. Regulus had finally jumped into the pool. "I've thought about that dream... well at least I won't drown in here cause in the dream it was something like a dark lake..." It sounded a bit like Reg would start having mood swings. "I can teach you how to swim so you won't drown!" James smiled at Regulus. "Sure, sure but that doesn't mean automatically that I won't drown! If it's a prophecy it would've seen this all before! It would've seen that I will learn how to swim."   
James and Sirius nodded at the same time and Reg suddenly noticed that Jamie was still holding his hand. It felt so familiar, so comfortable... Regulus pulled his hand away fast, he couldn't risk any awkward moments. "The temperature is really great..." He nodded while walking a bit through the water. "Don't worry Reggie, we'll have an eyes on you so you won't drown!" Sirius laughed. 

"Checkmate."   
"Stop winning Regulus! This is already round 3/3!"  
James and Regulus were sitting at the table in the living room, playing wizarding chess. "Not my fault that you're so bad at it, Potter!" Regulus laughed with that sarcastic laugh again.   
"Fine, we will play a fourth round but now I'll win!"   
"In your dreams..." Regulus shock his head with a smirk. "Where's Sirius?" He asked suddenly. "He's still sitting in front of the door, waiting for Remus." James chuckled as he realised what he was saying. "Is he- is he a dog or something?" Regulus raised an eyebrow. "Well actually he's an-" James had to stop himself from talking. Nobody knows about the marauders and their secrets and nobody should ever. "-an alien..." He completed his sentence but Regulus' eyebrow was still raised. "You're so stupid Potter, I can't believe it..." Reg shock his head again. He knew that something was weird... maybe not only the fact that Sirius' boyfriend was a werewolf... Yes, Regulus had found out. It was kinda funny how easy it was. Sirius, James and Peter are the least people on earth who could hide a secret. But how did they manage that they didn't get any damage of that werewolf..? They must have helped him for sure... 

James started moving his chess figure with only the words "B 2". It was like magical chess was a game for lazy people like him. But Regulus couldn't say that James was lazy at all... he was kinda really sporty... being the team captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team... Regulus had to think about it for a while, moving his figures around (he was good at managing two things at the same time). Being sporty and lazy at the same time... just like Sirius... but Sirius was a new level of being lazy, James wasn't as lazy as him.   
Regulus just had to shake his head again before he got a "Hey, I'm not THAT bad!" comment from James. Reggie had to chuckle.   
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and you couldn't hear anyone else yell than Sirius Black. "It must be Remus!" and James answering "Just open the door you needy bitch!". Of course James was just joking. After everything that (just) happened in this one week of holidays, Sirius truly deserved his loving painkiller. So he opened the door and fell around his boyfriend's neck immediately. "S-Sirius?" A trembling familiar voice asked, wrapping his arms around Siri's waist.   
Sirius nodded.   
"You're here?"   
Sirius nodded again. "I missed you!" He said.   
"It's been a week, Sirius." The werewolf laughed, hugging his boyfriend a bit tighter. "But I missed you too..." he whispered. "Now tell me. What the actual fuck are you doing here?!"   
Sirius started laughing and finally let go of Remus to drag him inside. "Visiting James!" He replied. James and Regulus were already arriving in the hallway as well. "Hey, James!" Remus pulled him into a big hug before he recognised Regulus. "Ok what are they doing here? Can someone tell me please?" He was pointing at the boys around him.   
Sirius was laughing again.   
"Shut it, you mutt!" Remus punched Sirius into the arm while getting guided into the living room.   
"You're having such a lovely boyfriend, do you?" Regulus whispered to Sirius while following them. "I know, he's so perfect." Siri smiled widely. "Oh dear..." Reg shook his head and followed them.  
"I didn't get a 'hello'." He crossed his arms as they reached the room and sat down on the armrest while everyone was taking place on the couch. "Oh, I'm sorry. Hello Regulus." Remus smiled at him before he turned back to James.  
"It's nothing important Remus. Just two brothers who ran away from home. What did you expect?"  
Remus had to inhale for a second. "Not important?! Do you know how dangerous this is?!" He wasn't supposed to get loud in front of Regulus, he was never loud in front of other people than his best friends. Because he was a werewolf and when people know that he was a werewolf and catch him while having no self control they will put him in prison. Bring him somewhere else because he was a dangerous monster. "Remus calm down!" James replied softly, putting one hand on Remus shoulder. "What if they will find out?! This is too riskant!" Remus wasn't even calmer a bit, he just wanted Sirius to be safe. Of course it wasn't save at the Black's but...   
Sirius bursted in. "So you're not glad to see me? Should I go home again?"   
"No that's not what I mean, be quiet Sirius! James we can't keep them here?! They will be find!!!" Moony stood up.   
"Where else should we put them?!" James asked.   
"Back home?! I don't know?! There is no safe place!" Remus and James were still yelling at each other.   
Siri stood up and ran out of the room, leaving the others being confused. He sat down on the stairs, buried his face into his hand and started to cry. He hated this. He hated yelling, he hated his family... why is everyone getting angry so fast? He just wanted to escape from all that and now Remus doesn't want him to stay...  
"Hey... are you ok?" A cold hand touched his knee.   
He nodded but didn't look up. He knew it was Regulus so he couldn't show himself while looking like that. A mess. He was such a bad brother...   
"It's ok to cry, you know? That's what you've always told me..." Regulus voice was soft and quiet. He slowly pulled Sirius into a hug, letting him cry into his chest. "Remus didn't mean to hurt you. He just wants to protect you..." He rubbed Siri's back slightly. All the big brothers need their little brothers sometimes... "He loves you..." Regulus whispered and Sirius nodded.   
Somehow the yelling stopped and Remus was seeing the brothers in the hallway. "Oh no, what have I done?!" Remus ran over to them. "I'm so sorry!"   
Regulus handed Sirius over to Remus. "I'll leave you guys alone now." He said before living.   
Throwing himself on the couch before getting the 'The actual fuck are you doing' look from James. "What? You didn't tell me to feel like home... I'd never to that at home!"  
James started laughing. "Glad you enjoy it here!"   
"Have never said that." Reggie crossed his legs.   
"Oh, pardon me!" James shook his head.   
"Parlez-vous français?" Regulus smirked.   
"What?" James looked at him with full confusion.   
"Bet that..."   
James was still confused. "Never mind Potter, you're not as smart as everyone told me you were."  
"Who said that?"   
"All the girls I know. 'Oh James Potter is so smart and sporty...' blah blah blah..."  
"How many girls do you know? If your mum counts... two?"   
"Oh shut it!" Regulus threw a pillow at him. "If my mum counts, I know four! I have three cousins, pfff..." Now they started laughing. And James could hear a tiny bit of joy in Reg's laugh for the first time. It was a beautiful laugh, similar to Sirius' but with less joy... quieter... but still peaceful and real... James threw the pillow back until the two both ended up having a pillow fight.   
"So you don't know any other girls, baby Black?" James was hitting him right in his face. "I don't have much social contacts." Regulus hit it back.  
"Why not?" James took Reggie's pillow and threw it back, missing Reg's head. "No time." He threw it back to Jamie, hitting the dumbass' head.   
"What are you doing that you don't have time for friends?" Regulus got hit by another pillow. Taking a bit time for answering.   
Studying dark arts, solving a werewolf secret, spying people, writing letters to his parents...  
"Ehm... reading, studying, taking walks, playing the piano, drawing, swimming... the usual..."  
"Why not doing it with a friend?"  
"Reading with a friend?"   
"Yes for example. Reading the same book, talking about it..."   
"Like in a book club?"  
"Yeah..."  
"I don't like clubs..."  
"Is there anything you like?"  
"Books." Regulus threw that pillow back to James as Remus and Sirius were coming in. Remus' arm around Sirius' waist. Looked like everything was alright again. "What are you guys doing?" Re sat down next to them.   
"Talking about Regulus' non existing social life."   
"Shut it, Potter!" Reggie threw another pillow at him. "Anyway Potter, where are your parents? Haven't seen them all do."   
"Oh they're just at work and visiting my aunt Terry, they'll be back soon."  
"Great, because I'm hungry!" Sirius leaned back, placing his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "You're always hungry, Pads." Remus placed a kiss on Sirius' head and let him cuddle closer. "Ew..." Regulus turned around because he didn't want to watch those lovebirds. "I can cook!" James smiled proudly. "You mean like that breakfast with those burned pancakes?" Regulus turned to James.   
"Ugh." He hit the Black with another pillow. 

"Do you believe me now that I can cook?" James looked over to Regulus, the young Black was still eating his steak. "I will not answer that."   
Jamie had to laugh at that comment. "So you like it, yeah? Glad you do!"   
"Haven't said that." Regulus mumbled while eating. "I think I'll go upstairs now, I'm always reading a bit while being alone before I'm going to sleep." Regulus stood up and brought his plate into the kitchen. Reading wasn't the reason why he was going upstairs, he just felt like the fourth wheel- doesn't make sense, a car has four wheels... he just felt superfluous. Sirius, Remus and James were a gang (kind of... with Peter) and they didn't need him. Most of their convos are secret convos for sure.  
"Sure, I'll come upstairs later, ok?" James replied.   
"Why do you pose it like a question? It's your room. I can't answer with 'no' at all."   
"Good night Reggie." Sirius smiled at him.   
"Good night." 

"It's full moon soon, right?"  
"In three days actually!"  
The marauders were still sitting in the kitchen. Sirius sat down on Remus' lap. "You're so needy, Padfoot!" Remus laughed. "I just need cuddles so I won't be so upset..."   
"Hey what's wrong?" Remus stroke Sirius' long black hair. Siri cut it a bit because it was summer but it was still up to his shoulders. Remus loved Sirius' hair as much as Sirius loved Remus' hair.   
"It's just the full moon..."  
"Sirius we've talked about this, I don't want any pity, you know that!"  
"I'm so sorry it's just..."  
"And we've talked about being sorry while it isn't your fault!"   
"I'm just scared..."   
"It's going go be alright just like it always did!" James smiled warmly at Sirius. "Is Peter coming too?" Remus asked. "Yes, he's coming tomorrow with Marlene and Dorcas." James replied. "But they're just here for a day, Peter will stay."   
"Ok great... did you listen Sirius? Marlene is coming!" Sirius just nodded.   
"Hey baby, don't be sad..." As soon as Remus said these words his boyfriend started to cry into his chest. "It's alright Sirius..." Remus whispered, still stroking Siri's hair and now with his other hand Siri's back. He knew that Sirius wasn't just crying because of the full moon. He was also crying because of his family. Both at once was hard and Sirius has always been the most emotional marauder. "It's alright Sirius..." Remus whispered again. "Let's go to sleep, you're tired..."   
Sirius nodded.   
"Do you mind if we leave, James?" Remus asked softly. "No, no, it's alright, I will go to sleep as well now. Good night, you two!" James smiled as Remus left the room, carrying a tired Sirius. 

"Are you sleeping?" James stepped into his room with a lighted wand. "Funny!" Regulus didn't bother to even sat up. "If I had been, you would've woken me up right now!"   
"Oh I'm sorry..." James sat down on his side of the bed. "It's too late now anyway." Regulus mumbled. "Why aren't you sleeping yet?" James asked. "Can't fall asleep obviously. If I could I would sleep now or not because you would have wo-"   
"Ok I got it, you're pretty smart, alright..." James interrupted him. After that there was silence. "Wanna go outside on the balcony?" Jamie whispered after a while. "I thought you wanted to sleep..." Regulus mumbled, cuddling closer into his blanket. He gets cold so fast... "Come on baby Black!" James stood up and took a package of cigarettes before walking to the balcony door. Regulus sighed and followed him. 

It was a bit fresh outside but the soft wind was really warm. It gently blowed through Regulus' black hair. "Oh shit..." James mumbled.  
"What's wrong?"   
"Oh nothing bad, I just forgot the lighter... and my wand..." Jamie smiled down at Reggie. Regulus wasn't very small but James was taller than the usual (not as tall as Remus though). "Wait I can help you." Reg pointed with a burning finger at the cigarette and touched it before it started to smoke.  
"Woah- how did you do it?!" James looked down at his cigarette and back to Reg's finger which stopped burning. "Magic?" Regulus shrugged. "No, no, that's different!" James took a step backwards.   
"A lot of wizards can use their hands for magic, you can train it too!" Regulus didn't want to scare James off.   
"But-" Jamie looked down at his cigarette and back to the boy. "Maybe... it's a gift too... like your gifted seer thing..."   
"Mhm..." Regulus shrugged and James took a step closer again with a grin on his face. "C'mon baby Black! What else can you do with your 'magical' hands?"   
Regulus hided a red face into his own shoulder. "I- I mean... I can revive plants and control water... nothing special..."   
"Are you kidding me? This is genial!" Regulus shook his head and James took a sip of his cigarette. "Have you ever smoked?" He asked, changing the subject. Regulus shook his head again. "Wanna try?"   
Reggie shrugged but James had already offered the cigarette. The younger boy carefully took it and slowly inhaled the smoke, chocking on it. James started giggling. "A lot of people choke at their first time. I did it too."   
Regulus nodded and tried it again. This time he didn't choke, he just coughed a bit. "Sirius often smokes, doesn't he?" He asked. "Not anymore. Remus wanted him to stop and well, Sirius does almost everything for Remus." James smiled, he loved the relationship between his two best friends, they seemed so happy...   
Regulus nodded again.   
"He's still drinking alcohol but almost everyone is."  
"But isn't it illegal until you're 18 years old?"  
"Oh Black... we're wizards!" James spun around with a smile on his face.   
Regulus took another sip of the cigarette. He wasn't sure if he liked being a wizard. Would his life have been easier as a muggle? He probably won't have to run away from home. He also won't have to run away from home if it hadn't been for Sirius...   
"The moon is beautiful today, isn't it?" James had already calm down again and leaned over the balcony railing. Regulus nodded, taking another sip and blowing the smoke out before answering. "Mhm... really pretty... it's almost full moon, huh?"   
James nodded too, looking up at the sky. The wind was still blowing through their hair. It was kinda beautiful... this silence, this night...   
All you could hear were some crickets and some owls.   
Maybe James was pretty okay. Maybe Regulus was actually pretty interesting.   
"Are you tired?" James whispered after a while.   
Regulus nodded again. "A bit." He replied.   
"Let's go to sleep." 

"Potter... Potter!" Regulus softly shook James. He didn't want to wake him up but he was so naive. He had this nightmare again, about drowning and he wanted to know if he was still dreaming.   
But James slept deeply. Regulus sighed and lied down again. He'd normally wake up Sirius but he didn't want to interrupt Wolfstar and he was sure that Remus didn't like him at all. The werewolf was only politely to Reggie because he was his boyfriend's brother.   
"James?" Regulus asked again but he didn't get a reaction. Just snoring. "I don't like you!" Reg picked him on the arm. "You're probably not having a nightmare..." He whispered and sighed again. Then he slowly cuddled into James' arms. "I will regret this..." But somehow it let Regulus calm down and he immediately fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

It was already noon when Regulus woke up in a lightened, empty room. He opened his eyes and realised that he was alone. Reggie groaned and sat up. He was still a bit tired but he didn't change the fact that it was 12:00pm. The boy rubbed his eyes, stood up and got dressed. 

"Marlene! It's noon and you're already drinking booze!" Dorcas slept her with the newspaper.   
The daily prophet. Some muggles and muggle borns got killed again and the ministry is setting a new law... the usual. But it made the whole wizarding world nervous.  
Sirius started laughing. "I want some toooooo!"   
"Sirius no!" Remus protested as well. "Ladies, ladies... get your girlfriends under control!" James was laughing too and high-fived Peter.   
"Oh hey Reguluuuuus!" Sirius waved over, watching a pale boy walking into the garden were all the others were hanging out.   
"Hey..." He slowly sat down next to him. He hatted such crowds of people.   
"Do you want breakfast?" James touched Regulus' shoulder.   
"I- I- " Regulus stuttered. He had to talk about last night, he had to explain it all.   
"You know, I won't accept a 'no'." James smiled at him.   
"It's just... I- I have to talk to you."  
"Sure." James was still smiling. Why was he always smiling?   
Regulus stood up and dragged James into the kitchen.   
"So... what's wrong, Mr Black?"   
"Last night I... I just had a nightmare and..."   
"Hey, chillex! It's alright!" James touched Regulus' shoulder again. It was an 'it's alright, mate' touch. Only Sirius and Barty did that on Reg's shoulder.   
"Can we just act like it never happened?" Regulus rubbed his neck.   
"Suuuure..." James grinned. "What does that mean?!"   
"Nothing... just that I can blackmail you now!"   
"Potter! No!"   
"Siriuuuuuuus!" James ran back into the garden, followed by a furious Regulus. "Please, please, please!"  
"Beg nicely on your knees!" James laughed.   
"Stop being kinky Prongs, he's 15!" Remus laughed.   
"What's actually happening?" Dorcas looked up.   
"I honestly don't know." Marlene took another sip of her whisky while her girlfriend was distracted.   
"Fine. I will blackmail you another time, Mr Black." James winked and sat down.   
"You're such an idiot!" Regulus walked inside again and sat down on the couch. He thought he could at least trust James. He was so nice last night... 

"You're still reading?" James sat down next to Regulus, it was already evening and Marlene and Dorcas have left again. Only Peter stayed with them.  
"Go away!" Reg grumbled.   
"Hey I'm sorry because of the blackmailing thing, I was just joking, really!"   
"What do you want, huh? Why aren't you hanging around with your friends?"  
"Regulus I-"  
"You think it's funny to be nice to me when we're alone and to make fun of me when they're around!" "You're right I was an ass-"   
"I thought I could trust you!" Regulus closed his book and stood up. "That's- that's why I came to you last night when I was dreaming about drowning again! Because I thought you would understand me! But I was wrong!"   
"Shit I didn't know-"   
"It's too late now! Just piss off, I don't need you in my life, I already have enough trouble!" He was yelling, he always tried to stay calm but James Potter made him so furious.   
"Regulus please-" but he had already left the room. Walking upstairs. James decided that following him would make it worse. "It's everything my fault..." He whispered. He wanted to be nice to Regulus for Sirius but he also liked to tease him, he didn't know that it would hurt Reggie so much. The Black boy was much more emotional than it seemed. 

"Hey..." James walked out of the living room into the garden. The sun was already behind the forest, leaving the sky in a yellow-pink colour. His three best friends were sitting around the garden table. Sirius on Remus' lap and Peter next to them. They were eating some stakes which were still left from lunch. And drinking some cocktails, made by James' mum. She and his dad were at the neighbours' for barbecue.   
"Full moon next night, huh?" James sat down on one of the chairs next to his friends. They all nodded. "How do you feel Remus?" Sirius looked up at his tall boyfriend. "Couldn't feel any better!" He joked and kissed Sirius' lips. Moony always had such dark humour, he could made fun of his werewolf issue while all the others were already scared of these jokes. "Where should I transform? In the garage again? Like the last times?" James nodded.   
"Where's Regulus?" Sirius asked.   
"In my room, reading I guess..."   
The others nodded again.   
"It's supposed to rain tonight." Peter suddenly said. "But I can't see any dark clouds yet. Only some cute pinkish ones." He stared up into the sky. "Anyway Peteeee..." Sirius grinned. "What's between you and Mary? I heard some rumours... Spill the tea!"   
"What?" Peter stopped looking at the sky and turned to Sirius now. "Why are so interested in my love life?"   
"Which love life?!" James commented and all of them started laughing.   
"I mean, she's cute but do you guys think we could be a pair?"   
"A pretty good one!" Sirius replied.  
"Anyway, I hope it will rain soon, your flowers need some water, James!" Peter pointed at the roses and sunflowers. "They're looking sad..." Sirius looked at them.   
"I know a few watering spells." Remus said.   
"I think we should go to bed now, it's early but we need the sleep for tomorrow night." James suggested. "But what about Regulus? He skipped three meals! We should give him something to eat before we go to sleep, James!" Sirius looked at him really worried. "I could talk to him. I know how he feels, I'm often skipping meals too." Remus replied. "How can y'all survive without food?!" Peter looked at them surprised and they started laughing again. "I can just bring something upstairs, we're sleeping in the same room anyway." James smiled at them and made his way into the kitchen. "Good night, mates!"   
"Good night, James!" 

"Hey, I have something to eat!" James stepped into his room. All he could see of Regulus was some black curly hair sneaking out of the blanket. But Jamie knew that the boy wasn't asleep yet. He put the plate down on the night stand and sat down on his side of the bed. "I know that you don't want to talk to me but you should really eat something." He got no answer. James sighed and lied down. He promised himself that he wouldn't sleep until Regulus ate something. "It's not cursed. Just some stake which was still left from lunch." Still silence. James felt so guilty. He felt like he was the reason why Regulus didn't eat.   
So deep into his thoughts, James didn't notice how some tiny rain drops hit the floor of his balcony. And he didn't notice how it started to be colder until more and more rain drops rained down.   
"Regulus please!"   
Regulus kinda liked it getting called by his first name. It felt so personal. But the words stoped feeling special in James' mouth. After he broke Reg's trust.   
"Please eat something!"   
Regulus just shock his head, cuddling closer into the blanket. He loved rain, snow and winter but he always gets cold pretty fast.   
"Are you cold?" James asked, not knowing why he was still expecting any answers. "I can give you my blanket. Or we- we can cuddle again..."   
"So I can blackmail you?" Regulus asked. James could barley hear him, the rain was so loud and Reggie was pretty much whispering into his blankets. But James nodded. Until he realised that Regulus couldn't see him because he was facing the wall and not him. "Yes, if you want to." James replied.  
"But only if you eat something."   
"I'm not hungry." Mumbled Reggie.  
"Please stop torturing yourself. Everyone is hungry after 24 hours of starving."   
"Maybe a bit."  
"Please. Sirius wanted me to give you something to eat."  
"Mission completed."  
"But you didn't eat it yet. He's really worrying about you!"  
"When's he not worried?" Regulus asked.   
"He's your brother. He will always worry about you."   
Regulus sat up. He decided that debating with James Potter won't get him anywhere cause this jude will never stop. He took his plate and watched the food, it was still warm and he could feel the warm haze rising into his face.   
James sat up as well. "It's beef stake with potatoes and peas." He said. Regulus nodded and slowly took a bite. It tasted so good! But he didn't want to admit it.   
"I'm still so sorry... I know you won't forgive me but- but-"   
"Stop crying, Potter!" Regulus mumbled, his mouth full of stake. "I was just a fool, thinking I could ever reach the level of your friends. They're much more important for you than I am, I'm okay with that." It was a lie. Regulus wanted to be one of them so badly. He was always excluded. The freak who was always reading while the others were drinking cocktails or playing truth or dare.   
"That's not true..." James looked down at the floor. "You're my friend too..."   
"Am I?" Regulus asked. James nodded.   
"But I will never be one of them."   
James shrugged. Maybe Regulus was right. It wasn't the reason that he was different. Nobody of that big squad was similar. Maybe Sirius and Marlene. But even these too 'punk rockers' were different in some points. It could be the fact that Regulus was younger, Sirius' brother and somebody new. None of them was really giving him any attention before he came here.   
"I'm sure they will except you, one day." James lied down again. He felt like everything he did was making Regulus uncomfortable. The boy was done with eating and put the empty plate down on the night stand again before he lied down as well. "Will you forgive me?" James asked, cuddling a bit closer. Regulus turned around so he didn't have to face the Gryffindor. "I don't know. It's so stupid making drama about that..."   
"But you're having all rights to make that drama." James replied. "I hurt you and feelings are nothing you should be ashamed of."   
Regulus turned around again. James was right. "I forgive you." Regulus smiled a tiny bit to show James that he was serious about that. "But don't do it again!"   
James nodded and took both of Regulus' hands. They were so cold. "I'm cold." Jamie whispered, pushing Regulus' closer. "You don't want to cuddle with me!" Said Reggie. "My body is like an ice cube the whole year long!"   
"That means when it's too hot, I can cuddle you so I get cooler?" James laughed.  
"But I'm cold too..." Regulus looked at James before this one let him snuggling into his warm chest. "Summer blankets are shit if it rains." Jamie complained but Regulus wasn't even listening anymore, he slowly drifted into a deep sleep. James was glad that everything between them was okay again. He wrapped his both arms around the cold boy, making both of them feeling save and comfortable together for the first time.


	6. Chapter 6

The birds were singing loudly but it wasn't the reason why the two boys woke up. It was a soft knock on their door, followed by a louder knock, followed by a knock in the 'We Will Rock You" rhythm. "Jamesssss!" It was Sirius who was still knocking.   
James slowly opened his eyes, hearing the beat of the knocking. "Buddy you're a boy, make a big noise, playing in the street..." He mumble. Regulus was curled up into his arms, his head lying on James' chest. His black hair was so fluffy, just like Sirius'. But shorter and curly. Sirius' was long and straight (gay). James slowly stroke the soft hair until he heard Sirius' voice again. "WAKE UP OR I'LL COME IN! NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK LIKE! IT'S IMPORTANT!!!" Now Regulus' head snapped up as well. "What's- what's happening?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Everything alright." James answered before he took his glasses, went to the door, opened it and walked out of the room before he quietly closed it again. He was still wearing his clothes from the day before and his hair was much more messy than it usually was. "Good morning Padfoot. What's the matter?" "Remus doesn't look good. I wanted you to help us. He'd like some tea and Peter wants him to eat something but he fails and-" Sirius was talking so fast, James could barely understand something. "Hey mate, calm down! I'm on my way down to the kitchen. Okay? Tea and chocolate and something to eat for us. And you should go and give Remus some cuddles!" He said softly, touching Sirius shoulder before he made his way downstairs. Siri nodded and went back to their room. 

"Where are the others?" Regulus asked as he arrived at the kitchen. He was wearing one of Sirius' Pink Floyd band t-shirts. It was a bit too big and almost looked like a dress. The only thing he wore underneath were some shorts. He actually didn't want to go downstairs like that but he was pretty confused on what just happened. Maybe it was the reason that he was still a bit tired and knocked out.   
"Oh hey!" James just turned around quickly before turning back to the stove were he was making some fried eggs for the others. "They're still sleeping." He lied.   
"Oh so who knocked on the door? The holy ghost?"  
"My mum."   
"Your mum likes Queen?"  
"Mhm."   
"James stop lying. It's Monday and your parents are at work. We just had that conversation yesterday!"  
James turned around again to face Regulus who sat down on one of the kitchen stairs. "Remus has the flu and I just don't want you to catch it as well." It was a lie again.  
"I understand..." Regulus knew that James was lying but he couldn't just say that he knew about the whole werewolf thing.   
"Nice shirt by the way. Do you hear Pink Floyd?" James commented after he turned back to the starve.   
"I- no... it's- it's Sirius'."   
"Oh, I'd already guessed." James grinned and Regulus rolled his eyes. "What kind of music do you like?"   
"Me?" Regulus asked like a dumb ass. "I actually don't hear music at all. Only classics when my parents let me listen to it or if I play the piano... what about you?"   
"Rock n' Roll of course! The Beatles and The Rolling Stones are my favourites! But I also hear Queen and David Bowie and ACDC, like Sirius!" He smiled excitedly at his food. "And Pink Floyd of course." He giggled. "Ah cool..." Regulus answered. To be honest he haven't heard anything of most of those bands. Or of their existence. Maybe he had seen a tongue of one of Sirius' shirt or heard him singing 'We Are The Champions' after a quidditch game they've won. And 'We Will Rock You'.   
"You don't know them. Do you?" James turned around again, seeing how Regulus shook his head.   
"They're so damn popular in the muggle world! I will come back later and you will have to listen to my favourite vinyls with me!" He smiled and gave Regulus a plate with a fried egg before he made his way upstairs again. Letting the magic bring up their drinks and food. 

"Knock knock. Can I come in?"  
"Can I come in who?" Sirius replied.  
"Can I come in you?"  
"JAMES!" Remus yelled before he started coughing again.   
"Come in James!" Peter answered nicely.   
"But not in me again!" Sirius protested.   
"What do you mean with again?"  
Remus looked up at Sirius who was cuddling him.   
"Errr... nothing..."   
"Oh you mean that drunk night?"   
"Hush! Peter!"   
"Drunk night? When?"  
"Look, James has brought you some chocolate!"   
"Sirius!"  
"Dark chocolate! Your favourite!"  
"Give it to me!"   
"Looks like it's going to be a bad moon, huh?" James sat down on the bed next to Peter, handing Remus the chocolate. "Full moons are always bad." Remus mumbled, his mouth full of chocolate. "That's right but you look worse than last time."   
Remus shrugged.   
"James? Can you- can you make sure Regulus will be save?" Sirius asked.  
"Yes of course I can, don't worry about that!" He smiled at him before staying up again. "Do you mind if I leave again? I promised Regulus to come down stairs again."   
The other marauders nodded. Peter and Sirius were already eating again. "I will catch you later my deeeers!" He grinned and grabbed his plate with the fried egg. "You're the deer!" Sirius mumbled with a mouth full of eggs. "No puns!" Remus complained before James left the room again. 

"So my favourite Beatles albums are 'Twist And Shout' and 'A Hard Days Night'. They're both from 1964 but I also have some 'newer' stuff. 'Black and Blue' is the newest one of the Rolling Stones or Sirius' favourite 'A night at the opera' from Queen. I also have-"   
"James!" Regulus interrupted him. "I'm impressed by your knowledge and your love for this music but can't we just listen to something?"   
"Twist And Shout!" James smiled excitedly before turning on the record player. As the vinyl started he offered Regulus to dance with him. "I only know classic dances..."   
"I'll show you how to dance to Rock n Roll!" James grinned and they started to spin each other around. 

It was already evening and the two boys were sitting on the couch together. "So, what do you think about rock n' roll?" James asked as Regulus lied down, kinda looking exhausted from all the dancing and listening to James' terrible singing. "Actually not that bad..."   
"You still like your classic music?"  
"Yes but Twist And Shout is actually pretty cool."   
"You like it, do you?" James grinned.  
"A bit..."   
"Regulus Black likes my favourite soooooong!"   
"Calm down, Potter!" Regulus shook his head.   
"And what did you think about the lunch? My mum is a good cook, isn't she?"   
"Yes, a brilliant one." 

James went upstairs again, leaving Regulus alone with a Shakespeare book. "It's getting darker." He said as he arrived at the room. None of the other three friends have left the room since James was gone. He once brought them lunch and crisps but he was too busy with hanging out with Regulus.  
"Don't you exaggerate?" Remus asked. "What? Just take a look out of the window! I mean we have time till we finished dinner but it-"   
"No, I don't mean that. I mean, don't you hangout with Regulus way too often? Sirius told you to be nice to him and not to be his best friend."   
"But he doesn't have any other friends here and I really like him."  
"Do you mean 'I'd like to snog him' like or 'we could be really good friends' like?" Peter asked.   
"The second... I guess." He mumbled.  
"What?"  
"I said 'The second'. I want him to feel comfortable here. His home had damaged him so much. And I'm NOT gay!"   
"Neither am I." Replied Remus before kissing Sirius' cheek.   
"I'm also not bisexual or pansexual or anything!"   
"Mhm mhm..." The other three replied at the same time.   
"What about the one time you saw Kingsley as he dressed out his shirt and your face turned red?" Peter asked. "That was you Peter! Not me!"   
"Both of you!" Remus chuckled. "What do you think Sirius?" He asked.   
"He only has one friend... maybe James would be good for him."  
"Thank you!" James sighed. "Sirius are you okay, baby? You're so quiet..." Remus carefully stroke his hair. "Nothing, just full moon..." Sirius sighed and buried his face into Remus' chest. "Hey, it's going to be alright, I'll be fine..." He stroke Sirius' back. "Don't pity me, I hate that."   
"I'm sorry... I-"   
"And don't feel guilty."  
"I'm sor- fuck."  
"No swearing!" Peter mumbled while eating some nachos with cheese sauce.   
"Do you even want to eat something for dinner after those nachos?" James asked Peter.   
"I can always eat!" 

James and Regulus were eating dinner with James' parents while the other friends were eating upstairs. "I haven't seen them all day! Are they alright?" Mrs Potter asked. "Yes mum, everything alright, it's just the flu."  
"Remus is having the flu so often!"  
"Yes, he's having a weak immune system."   
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry, I hope he gets well soon!"  
"He hates pity." Regulus snorted until he looked down at his plate again. "I'm sorry Mrs Potter, I didn't mean to make that comment."   
"It's alright Regulus!" Mrs Potter smiled. "Yes, we're a humorous household, aren't we?" Mr Potter smiled as well and Regulus nodded. "And all kind of puns are allowed as long as Remus isn't here." James laughed.

"Are you tired yet?" James asked Regulus as they brought their plates into the kitchen. "Nope."   
James had to find a plan how to bring Regulus to a safe spot while Remus transforms.   
"Now?"  
"Nope." Regulus grinned. He knew James' plan and he won't play that game. He will wait until James tells him by his own that Remus John Lupin was a werewolf.   
"Now?"  
"What do you want, Potter?"   
James had one last idea. It will totally destroy his 'straight' label but he would do everything for his friends. "I want to cuddle."   
"You do?" Regulus wasn't sure if it was a real lie, neither did James.   
"Can I read while we cuddle?"   
"Sure." James smiled. But his brain couldn't stop yelling 'damn it, damn it, damn it James!'. What if he'd start to fall in love? No, he was straight, wasn't he? 

"So which book do you choose?"  
"Middlemarch"   
"What's the plot?"  
"I'm not sure, haven't read it yet but it's one of the most important books in the 19th century." Regulus let himself fall down on the bed.   
"Oh that's cool! Can you read it for me?"   
Regulus started laughing. "You're just too lazy to read it by your own!"  
"Fine! I will read!" James took the book. He had the perfect plan. He will just wait until Regulus fell asleep. He just hoped that his plan would work until the sun completely disappeared.   
"Sure why not?" Reggie cuddled into James' arms so they could read together.   
"Middlemarch..." James started to read loudly. 

It was almost an hour later and Regulus was still awake. "I think- I guess- I have to leave for a few minutes or hours..." James suddenly said, closing the book. "Why?" Regulus looked up at him.   
"Errr... my friends and I are going out."   
"Why can't I come with you?"   
"It's a squad meeting."   
"But you said that they will accept me."  
"Just... not today."  
If James won't admit the truth this way, Regulus had to act hurt. "But I don't have anyone here..."  
"You have my mum and my dad."  
"Potter!" Hurt didn't work.   
"You can read your book or go to sleep."   
"Just tell me the truth."   
"What do you mean?" James started being nervous.   
"The truth why you're leaving. Without me."   
"Because Sirius don't-"  
"Don't put Sirius into your lies." Regulus freed himself out of James' arms.   
"Just... we'd only reserved four chairs at the pub."  
"You're 16, you're not allowed to go into a pub yet."   
"Regulus-"  
"Stop. Lying. To. Me."   
"Regulus I- I just can't tell you the truth..."  
"Why not?" Regulus crossed his arms.   
"Because then it wouldn't be a secret anymore."  
"And what if I already know this secret."  
"Suuuure." James started laughing but Regulus didn't look like he was joking. "What if I know that your best friend doesn't have the flu?" He wasn't sure if he could say this. Would it ruin their friendship? Was it even a friendship?   
"Ok, you've got me, he just has a normal cold."   
"You would look like Pinocchio now if you could. Is there a spell for it?"   
"What do you know, Black?"  
"You mean the fact the he's a werewolf?"  
James was shocked for a moment. There was silence until he started panicking. "What?! Who told you?!!! Was it Sirius?! Or Sniffelus?!!!" James covered his mouth.   
"Nobody did. I found it out by myself."  
"How?!"   
"I'm just not oblivious like all the others. I can do some maths. Remus Lupin 'coincidentally' always disappears or is sick when it's full moon and when he comes back he 'coincidentally' has some new scars. There's just one thing I haven't figured out yet. How do you help him without getting hurt as well?"   
James was still shocked and he just couldn't stop gasping. "I- who- does anyone else know about this?"   
"Apart from the ones you've already told, not. But that's just a weird guess cause I'm not completely sure if everyone here is so oblivious."   
"Fuck..." James whispered.  
"Don't worry, I won't tell it anyone. I don't have any friends apart from you who keeps lying to me."   
James touched Regulus arm. "That doesn't mean anything! I swear! I haven't even told it Frank or Kingsley..."   
Regulus nodded. "So what about the helping thing? Can you tell me this one or are you going to lie again?"   
"I- I... please don't tell anyone okay?" James looked around. "We're... animagi..."  
"Oh yes! That makes sense. Werewolves don't attack animals and they think you're part of their herd. Didn't think you guys are that smart."   
"Ok but don't tell anyone about this, please!"   
"I won't. Promise. Sirius is my brother and you're my friend, I wouldn't betray you too like that." He smiled a bit and James smiled back, taking Regulus' hands. "Promise me that you won't leave this room. Okay? I don't want you to get hurt."   
Regulus nodded and James let go of his hands. "I'll see you tomorrow morning baby Black." Jamie stood up. "Wait!" Regulus lied down on the bed, cuddling into the blankets, he didn't want to continue reading without James. "Can you tell me which animals you are?"   
"I'm a stag, Sirius is a black dog and Peter is a rat. I'm really on a hurry so if you-"   
"Thank you James, good night and take care of them."  
"I will. Good night." Jamie smiled before he left the room and quietly closed the door behind him. 

It was a pretty normal full moon. Always painful to watch but all of the boys were at least 'ok' after the transformation. Remus was damaged and hurt of course but the others were fine. The garage only took a few damages and the muggle neighbours didn't come and ask the Potters why there was so much noise in their garage. It once happened the first time Remus transformed at their house. They told them that they were working at a school project. 'The whole night long? At summer holidays?'   
'Yes Mr and Mrs Miller, it's important for our exams next year and the chemistry experiment only works in the fullest dark.'   
After that they didn't ask again. But Remus also only transformed twice at the Potters'. The Lupins usually don't allow him to visit James at a full moon but he had to explain how much he needed James for that. 

James slowly and quietly went back to his room. Regulus had decided to read another book before going back to bed. His head lied down on Beethoven's biography, his black curls all over the two open pages. The sun was already rising again. James loved the sun rising, he often wakes up earlier just to enjoy it. Yes, he was a typical morning person. But today he was too tired to watch it. He didn't sleep all night long and being a stag is exhausting as well. He lied down next to Regulus who lied across the bed, there was almost no space left for Jamie. He carefully stroke those black curls until this head started to move a bit. "James?" A sleepy voice whispered. James first didn't recognised that Regulus Black used his first name. As he did, he had to smile. "Regulus?" He whispered back.   
"Is Sirius alright?" Reggie asked.   
"Yes, he's alright, just a bit worried about Remus and really tired."  
"And- and how's Remus?"   
"He's a bit hurt but he only has one new scar."  
"And Peter?"  
"He's fine too." James smiled. "Just like I am, thank you for carrying about me." He laughed quietly.  
"I wanted to ask you right after Peter." Regulus replied.   
"Sure." James chuckled. "Now go back to sleep."   
"James?" Reg asked again.  
"Regulus?"  
"I like you..." Regulus whispered even quieter. He closed his eyes and knocked out again before James could even reply. "What do you mean Regulus? Like or like like?" But he didn't get any answers. "Never mind then, I'll ask you tomorrow. Good night, baby Black." James closed his eyes as well and immediately fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

It was 10pm and Regulus woke up before James did. Surprisingly. His sleep got interrupted by Mrs Potter's yelling. "James! Don't you want any breakfast?!" She wasn't at work yet, maybe she will go soon. James didn't even move by the loud noise. He was probably still tired. It was a hard night.  
Regulus moved his head a bit, realising that he slept on his book the whole night. Maybe this was the reason why he had a headache. He moved a bit closer to James, watching him sleeping. He looked so peaceful, so carefree... everything Regulus had ever wanted to be. Was it the reason why he felt a small desire for the Gryffindor boy? Was it really love? Did he even want something from James as he told him that he liked him last night? Or was it already morning? Regulus couldn't tell either of those things. He didn't had any idea of feelings. He'd grown up in a household where showing emotions was one of the worst things you could do. But his brother Sirius kinda managed to be very emotionally through all that. Did Regulus want to be like him? Or like the rest of his family? He thought Sirius was so cool, he just did everything he wanted to do, like a real rebel! And Reggie himself? He thought he was a coward. Too scared to fight against the rules. Too loyal to his family... But now he was here, lying next to James Potter. One of the men he'd always looked up to. Yes he did. Of course he thought that James was an annoying bragging prat, but he also saw that James was a fantastic quidditch player and he was super brave and passionately in everything he did. How he talked about quidditch... and music... and he could dance fantastically. He was funny and such a generous host and a fantastic friend. And he was looking so good and tall and sporty... but he smelled like cheap aftershave and quidditch pitch. But he also was so carrying to his friends and to his parents... and he was actually so smart and his favourite book was 'Romeo and Juliet' too... and he was a great cuddler. Regulus had a lot of reasons to fall in love with that idiotic snob. But there were so many other reasons which could stop him... Sirius, his parents, ... and James might not like him back... But Regulus was a young reader and writer, those people pursuit to nothing else than their own exciting and passionately love adventure... Young Reggie was never in love before but he might be now, in this moment. 

James woke up after a few hours. He felt a cold feeling on his chest. More like a fresh feeling. At those hot summer nights you don't wish anything else than something cool. The cold thing felt like a body. He slowly opened his eyes, realising that his view was blocked by a lot of black curls. "You're so needy, baby Black!" James chuckled, still holding the smaller boy in his arms. "I just waited for you to get up... I was... ehm... bored." Reg pulled away from James, slightly embarrassed. "You could've brought me breakfast." Jamie grinned. "No, I'm not your slave!" Regulus folded his arms.   
"Hey just joking!" James smiled at him. "I can bring us breakfast, ok?"   
Reg nodded.   
"Have you slept well?" Potter asked him while staying up and searching for a fresh shirt. "Yes, I did..." Regulus replied. He hoped that Jamie had already forgotten the things Reg said last night.  
"That's great!" James smiled. "We're going to the lake today. I know you don't like swimming but it would be pleasure if you joined us. It's a beautiful place to read." James really wanted Regulus to go out with his friends? "I- I- sure."   
Prongs laughed. "I'm glad you want to come. So if you don't mind, I'll go and take a shower before I'll bring us breakfast into bed." Of course he didn't forget his marauders. He will sneak over for a bit and give them breakfast too, before coming back to his room. 

"Hey, how's Remus?" James entered their room. Peter was also already there. He had his own room cause he didn't want to sleep in a room with Wolfstar.   
'Why does Peter get his own room and I have to share one with you?!'  
'Regulus!'   
"He doesn't look good..." Sirius looked up at James, cuddling a cold Remus. Remus was normally really warm. Wolf's blood. But after a full moon he always went cold.   
"I brought you guys breakfast... I have tea and chocolate and omelette for Remus and for you guys I have omelette too..."  
"With cheese?" Peter asked.  
"Yours is with extra cheese!" James smiled and sat down the food on the beside table before sitting down on the bed next to his cuddling mates. He touched Remus' cold forehead. The werewolf was still sleeping. "I wanted to go down to the lake and I assume you won't come with me..." James said softly.  
Sirius shook his head. "Why do you even want to go? He's your best friend! He needs you!"   
"I know... I'm so sorry, Padfoot but listen! He needs you the most and I don't want to disturb your romantic moments... and Peter is here too, unless he wants to come with me. The reason why I wanted to go is that your brother doesn't know about all this. The werewolf thing. And he will get sceptical about it when we're staying all day here in that room!" James couldn't tell them that Regulus already knew about that. Not until Reggie gave him the permission.   
Sirius nodded. "You're right... I was just- I-"   
"Sirius it's ok-" James tried to calm Sirius down but between them lied Remus. Before he managed to come over at the right side of the bed, Sirius had already started to cry again. "Hey, it's alright, he'll be fine." He took Sirius into his arms, letting him sob into his shoulder. Peter joined the hug. "Prongsie is right!" He petted Sirius' back.   
"It's- it's just... last time the-" Padfoot couldn't even finish to speak but his friends knew exactly what he meant. "We know... the Sniffelus thing..." James rubbed Sirius' back as well. "Moony- he's still mad at me... he sa-said he will think of it e-every full moon..." He whined. "That's bullocks Sirius... Remus can't think like a human while being a werewolf and I thought things between you were already alright again? I mean first of all: Peter and I aren't mad anymore. We know that you're a stupid idiot who didn't thought of the consequences of leading a Slytherin into a living werewolf trap. And second: Remus didn't look mad at all the last days, you looked so peaceful together!" James explained. "Yeah I- I know but he's still mad some- sometimes..."   
"Well, it was a big thing." Peter explained. "He will never forget what happened that night but past is past and Sniffelus survived. I don't believe he will be mad forever. Give him time, Sirius. Like I and James gave you time when you were mad at us."   
"Thank you Pete..." Sirius sniffed.   
James pulled away from Sirius. "I will go and join breakfast with Regulus now. Should I pick you up later, Pete? You can come with us to the lake so Padfoot and Moony can sort things out. If you need anything Pads, my mum is at home the whole day today."  
Sirius nodded and cuddled into Remus' cold arms. "Thank you... and say good morning to Regulus for me!" 

"Hey, hey, I have breakfast!" James smiled as he entered his room.   
Regulus was lying on their bed, reading a book. "I hope you're not reading 'Middlemarch'!" James grinned as he put down their food on the bed. "No, don't worry!" Regulus chuckled. "It's something from Shakespeare." He smiled. Wait- he smiled? James had seen him smiling only once as he could remember! And this chuckle wasn't a sarcastic chuckle, it was out of joy! With a wide grin he lied down in front of Regulus, supporting his body weight with his elbow to look at the young boy who was still smiling. "I could never betray you like that!" Regulus acted like he fainted into the pillows. He felt like he could joke around with James easily, just like with Sirius. He couldn't do it with anybody else. Not even with Barty. It was a weird friendship with Barty... they still had so many secrets... after all those years...   
James was still proud that he made Regulus smile, he just couldn't believe it! He started laughing with Regulus together. "Anyway, I have to tell you 'Good morning' from Sirius."   
Reggie sat up again. "Oh thank you. We haven't really talked in a while..."  
"Why?" James' face changed into a worried expression as Regulus started to look emotionless again. His standard face.   
"I don't know... He's just so busy with his boyfriend... I think he is more important for him than I am..."   
"Hey! Don't say that!" James sat up as well. "He doesn't love anybody else more than he loves you! Remus is just his number two! And even if it doesn't seem like that... if he wouldn't shag with you but with him or even if you don't really talk in a while.... you're so important to him... You should know that!" James wasn't emotionless like Regulus was, he was the one who started to tear up.   
"Are you ok?" Regulus asked and come closer to James, sitting down right next to him, taking his right hand. James nodded. "It's just-" He tried to waggle the tears away with his other hand but he looked more gay than it actually helped to waggle them away.   
"You can tell me everything, James. It will stay between the two of us."   
James couldn't help but he had to smile a tiny bit as Regulus mentioned his first name. "I've just... that sounds so stupid but-"   
"No, it won't. Unless... Well you're James Potter... I'll tell you later if it sounded stupid like all the other shit which leaves your dirty mouth. Continue please."   
James had to laugh a bit while he whipped away some tears. Regulus was kinda an idiot but he even made him smile and laugh at sad moments. He's much more similar to Sirius than people would think. "I've always wanted to have a brother or a sister... someone I can love and protect... just like you and Sirius but my parents didn't want to have a second child..."   
"Potter..."   
"Did it really sound so stupid? I mean-"   
"No..." Regulus shock his head, slightly rubbing the back of James' hand. "You already have a brother, the best brother someone could ever have!" He said in a soft voice.   
"What do you mean I-"   
"Sirius! He totally is your brother, isn't he?! I was so jealous at first, you must know! I didn't want to share him with you! But now I know that he's in good loving hands." Regulus smiled, allowing himself to show a bit of emotion.   
James started to cry harder, wrapping his arms around Regulus' neck and pulling him into a big hug. Reg really hoped that those tears were happy tears. Even though happy tears doesn't exist. Sometimes when you're happy you start to remember how awful it was before you were happy. Those are the tears. Regulus never cried those tears. He sometimes cries tears about how awful everything is and how happy he was when he was a little child. Joking around with his big brother... but now it was all over. And he only cried silently when he was really sure that nobody could hear him. His mother told him not to cry ever.  
James finally stopped crying and pulled away again, whipping his tears away. "So you're my brother too?" He sniffed.   
"Sure." Regulus replied, even though wanting to date his own brother sounded cringe.   
"The breakfast is getting cold!" James turned back to the food, offering Regulus a strawberry. "It's fresh from our own garden!" He smiled and it seemed like he'd never cried. Regulus leaned forward, taking a bite of the strawberry, smiling as he ate it. He didn't know why he decide to smile in the company of Potter. But smiling felt so good...   
James' hand moved closer to Regulus' mouth again, letting him take another bite. "You like strawberries, do you?" He asked with a grin before Reggie nodded. He once got crucioed when he was five years old and stole a strawberry from his mother's cake which she made for a fancy lunch party with some other pureblood women. He never went back into that kitchen anymore unless he was forced to. He didn't get cursed because they hadn't got any other strawberries left, it was because his mother wanted to teach him manners.  
James' voice interrupted Regulus' memories and brought him back to the present. "I also have tea, grapes and pancakes." Jamie smiled. "Thank you! How generous!" Regulus mumbled with a mouth full of grapes which he just took. James started to chuckle. Regulus normally wouldn't do that. Speaking with a full mouth and taking food without asking. He had learned his manners through the curses but James gave a fuck to manners, just like Sirius and all of James' other friends.   
"Who will come with us to the lake?" Regulus asked. He knew that Remus and his brother wouldn't join them cause the werewolf was still injured from the full moon. "Peter and the girls." Potter replied before he filled his mouth with pancake. His lips had a perfect red colour and they were pretty filled. Not so pall and thin like Reggie's. "Who are the girls?" He asked, already disappointed of the obligation of hanging around with a bunch of people. The two of them and maybe Peter would be enough... no Peter would already be too much for him. "Mary, Marlene, Dorcas and Lily."   
"Oh..." The word 'Lily' hit him. It was already bad enough that it were four girls. Marlene and Dorcas were okay, they were too busy with flirting with each other. He didn't really know Mary well. Only that her last name was Macdonald and that she played in the Gryffindor Quidditch team. But Lily. He hated Lily so much. James talking about her was pretty much the only reason. Being jealous of her made sure that Regulus wanted more than a simple friendship.   
"Is something wrong, baby Black?" Ugh, Regulus hated that name. But telling James about it would probably make him use it even more often. Potter was the one who loved to tease other people. Pretty much everyone. Even the teachers and also animals. "It's nothing." He replied and took a bite of his pancake. It tasted so good! He asked himself if James or his mum made it.   
"There must be something, otherwise you won't look like that."  
"Potter, it's my neutral face. I'm pretty much using it all the time."  
"But a few seconds ago you were smiling."   
"Well, not anymore."   
"I- I like your smile... a lot." James commented, looking away to hide a red face.   
"Fine but I'm not smiling right now. Get over it."   
James nodded, turning back again. "You can tell me everything, too. Just like I can tell you everything. Just wanted to say that..." But he was still looking away from Regulus.   
"I just don't like Lily, that's all."   
"Why not? She's-"  
"Don't!" Reg interrupted him. "I just don't want to hear about her. You're talking too much."  
"Are you jealous?" James grinned.  
"No. The last person I want to date is her."   
"What's your type then, baby Black?"  
"None of your business."   
James was mad at himself. He ruined this. Regulus was so happy and now he's just rude again. Not exactly rude but... not really politely. "Do you want another strawberry?" He handed out one, hoping to save Regulus' mood.   
Regulus was mad at himself. His hate for Lily was stronger than his good mood and it was more than obvious that James prefered happy Regulus. So he nodded with a half smile, grabbing James' wrist and slowly guiding it near his mouth, taking a bite. It was nonsensical, he could just take the strawberry by his own. But it made James' smile and after the full moon and the sadness he needed to smile and deserved every single one of Regulus' smiles. So he leaned his head against James' shoulder, letting Jamie feat him with strawberries while both of them were smiling, covered in silence and some giggles. 

As the three boys arrived at the lake near James' suburb the girls were already there. It was a beautiful place with some trees and a lot of flowers, a great place for a picnic. Not many teenagers came here because they all preferred the swimming pools.   
Regulus let himself drop down into the grass and pulled out one of his books. "You don't wanna go swimming with us?" Peter asked him as he dressed out his shirt. He wasn't the most skinny one of the marauders because his stomach was full of cheese. Regulus just shook his head. "Come on Peter!" James said as he dressed out his shirt as well. He took Peter's arm and dragged him to the lake were the girls were swimming and jumped into the water. Regulus just shook his head. They seemed so happy and he really wanted to join them, having fun. But he was too scared of the water. So he just continued reading. 

"MARLENE WATCH OUUUUT!"  
"JAMES!!!" She laughed and swam over to him as he was done with jumping. "Where's Sirius?" The blond girl asked. "Oh him? He stayed home.   
"And Remus?"   
"Too."  
"Full moon?"  
"Yup..."   
The four girls knew about that. Well, Lily was Remus best friend, Marlene was Sirius' and Mary was Peter's. "Are they ok?" Dorcas asked who'd listen to their conversation. James just nodded, suddenly looking upset. "Hey, it's ok James, he'll be alright." Marlene rested her hand on James' shoulder. "Let's just have some fun! We can't always take life serious!"   
"You never take life serious!" Dorcas laughed at her girlfriend.   
"So it's just us six?" Marlen asked.   
"Oh er... Sirius' brother is here too."   
"You mean that Slytherin?"  
James nodded.  
"Why doesn't he come swimming with us?"  
"He doesn't like water..."   
"Oh" Marlene started to laugh. "But water is the symbol of Slytherin, isn't it?"  
"Marlene it's not funny. It's a long story and he doesn't like to talk about it." James pulled her hand away.   
"I'm sorry... can I get to know him? He didn't talk with us last visit."  
"I don't know... he isn't into social contacts but maybe you can try."  
"Oh hey, Potter!" A girl with long red hair with a brown haired friend swam over to join the others.   
"Evans!" James smiled. She had such beautiful green eyes. Looking at them was like looking into the sun. It was dangerous but somehow you couldn't stop to try it.   
"Hey, Pete, mate!" The brown haired girl smiled and waved at him. It was Mary. "Mary!" Peter smiled and swam over to her. "I better suppose you girls have something for picnic here!" He grinned. "Peter we just had breakfast!" James laughed. 

"What are you reading?" It was noon and the six friends stepped out of the water to make a big picnic together. James walked to Regulus -who was sitting under a big oak- to invite him for the girls' lunch.   
"Just a good old classic. Nothing special..."   
"Don't you want to come and join our lunch?"  
"No, it's in the sun, I don't want to get sun burned and they're screaming too loud, it's annoying." Regulus still didn't look up from his book.   
"Is it because of Lily Evans?" James asked softly and sat down next to Regulus. "Ew, you're making everything wet!" The boy protested immediately and stood up, being carefully that his book doesn't get any water drops.  
"Mhm..." James grinned.  
"You're so gross!"   
James reached for his towel and wrapped it around his wet body before he pointed at the place beside him, wanting Regulus to sit down again. "Now, answer me!"  
"It's not because of her..." He hid his face between the book pages.   
"Don't lie to me..." James carefully took the literature away.   
"I'm not lying at all..."   
"Regulus?"  
"Yes?"  
"What did you mean when you said 'I like you' last night?" James changed the subject.  
Regulus gasped innerly. He thought that Potter might forget... "I- " He didn't want to tell the truth, not here, not at the place were Lily was. He'd never have a chance against her. "Nothing." He simply answered.  
"Oh... ok... I might think it was important or something..."   
Regulus saw how this excitement left James' eyes and started to get filled with disappointing. "What if I just lied, right now?" He asked.   
"I don't understand..." James sighed.   
Regulus didn't know if he should tell the truth right now and right here. He will never mean the same James will mean to him. "I'm just not sure which answer is supposed to be the right one..."   
"The truth." James replied. Looking up from the ground again, into those dark eyes of Regulus. Why was James always so attracted to eyes? They were so different to Lily's eyes. She had outstanding fresh eyes. The kind of eyes everyone finds attractive someone.   
Regulus had less striking eyes. They were as dark as his hair and always hidden behind those black curls. But somehow also attractive in another way. They were deep and mysterious. Everything of Regulus was mysterious, he was a whole mystery. Like a treasure and James wanted the key.   
"And if it will ruin this?" Regulus' voice brought James back to reality. "What will it ruin?" He asked, pushing up his glasses.   
"Our friendship..."   
"But if you 'like like' me, you actually want to ruin it, don't you?"   
Regulus nodded. "I-... I like like you, Potter... a lot." He almost whispered. "And I know that you don't feel the same and that's ok... I just thought that you wanted to know it because we didn't want to have any secrets in front of each other..."   
"Why do you think that?" James asked. Their eyes were still locked together. And Potter slowly moved some of Regulus' curls behind his ear.   
"Lily. I know how you look at her-"   
But James just shook his head. "I don't need her..."  
"No, don't stop admiring her just because I'm here! That's stupid!"   
"But you're so much better..."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I had more fun with you at those few days than I'll ever have with her! I want to tease you and slam pillows in your face, I want to sneak out on my balcony at night with you, I want to cuddle with you, I want to dance to Twist And Shout with you, I want to read books with you, I want to feed you with strawberries, I want to smile and laugh with you, I- I want to snog you..!" It suddenly made so much sense. He was in love with him the whole time long!   
"You want to snog me?" Regulus asked as he felt James' warm hand on his right cheek. Potter nodded and then he slowly pulled him into a kiss. Regulus let himself completely be guided by James before he kissed back, getting closely pulled against the other boy's chest. This one wrapped his towel around both of them. "You're still wet..." Regulus half complained, half laughed.  
"I'm wet because you're so ho-" James joked but he got interrupted by another kiss. "Don't say it!" Reggie put his finger against James' lips to makes him shut up but instead the Gryffindor just started licking it.   
"Ew. You're so gross, Potter!"  
James laughed.   
Regulus grumbled and lied his head down on James' wet chest before James started to stroke his black fluffy hair. "Can we keep this a secret?" Reg asked.   
"You mean because of Sirius?"  
He nodded.   
"Does that mean you're my boyfriend now?" James grinned.  
"Boyfriend -yes. Property -no."   
James started laughing again. "I'm fine with that. You hungry?"   
Regulus shook his head.   
"We will go and get something anyway." James put on his shirt, stood up and reached out for his boyfriend's hand to help him up. "I still don't want to go there." This one pointed. "Pleaseeee... for meeeee..." James looked at him with those puppy eyes Sirius normally makes. He got taught by a real dog!   
Regulus knew by himself that he had to eat something because starving wasn't healthy. "Fine..." He took James' hand and stood up. 

James let go of Regulus' hand before they arrived. "Hey boys!" Mary smiled at them and of course Peter was already there. "So we have sandwiches, fruits, sausage, crackers, cheese, sweets, cake and water." She explained as the others sat down. "Sandwiches sound good, what do you think, Black?" James asked and Regulus nodded. "Ok we have different types of sandwiches..." The girls really didn't left out anything.   
Regulus constantly had an eye on Lily, just in case.. "Lily is pretty, isn't she?" Reggie almost choked at his sandwich as he suddenly heard a voice from behind. It was Marlene who sat down next to him as James and Lily left the picnic to walk alone through the grass. "She's still single." The blond hair winked. "She's not my type and my love life is not your business." He answered simply. "Why not?" Marlene grabbed an apple. "Because she can't be anyone's type and I'm not committed to tell you anything about me."   
"Oh dear..." Marlene sighed. "How did James even manage to be your friend?"  
These words hit Regulus harder than they should. Maybe Marlene was right. Why should James even want to hang out with him? To be his boyfriend? They were so different... But Remus and Sirius were different too...   
Marlene didn't recognised a single mood change on that poker face but she wasn't as punk rock as she always said she was because she started feeling guilty. "I was just joking..." she said.   
"It's alright..." Regulus nodded. "Maybe you're right..." and he didn't know why James and Lily were walking around all alone but it made him so jealous... the same feeling he had when he saw Sirius with James...   
"No." Marlene touched his arm. "I'm sure he likes you... a lot..." She smiled a bit but everything which happened was Regulus taking his arm away because Marlene didn't have any permission to touch him.

James and Lily were still walking around and talking about random stuff. "So you started to read, Potter?" Lily asked curiously. "Yup!"  
"Do you have any favourites?" She was sure that he lied and couldn't tell her one book title.   
"Romeo and Juliet" He smiled.  
"Mhm a good book... I could say you're not as childish as you once were, Potter."   
"Based on he fact that we all grow up our whole life long." He grinned and put his hands into his trucks' pockets. "I can say that you will stay a child forever." Lily replied.   
"We will all stay the children of our parents forever and deep inside we're all still some kids who love to play and be free..."   
"Oh, what a poet... but you're the only one who wants to stay like that." Lily countered. "I know a bunch of people." James replied.   
"Who? You, Sirius and Peter?"   
"No." James put his hands out of his pockets again. "There's a whole war outside, just because you don't feel affected doesn't mean it isn't there! All of us pray to be those children again! We don't want to fight yet, Evans! Even if we want to stop this war! We just want to be those kids without worries again! Have you seen Sirius and Regulus? They couldn't be more worried about anything else right now! Have you seen all those scared muggle borns? They just want to be carefree for once!"   
Lily didn't know what to answer... maybe James was right. She just nodded.   
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be loud-"  
"No, it's alright... I don't want to admit it but... you're right..."   
James nodded.   
"And how are Sirius and Regulus?"  
"Sirius is worried... full moon... and Regulus doesn't know how to handle this all..."   
Lily nodded. "I've always thought that you were just stupid but-" Both of them stoped walking. "you're actually so smart..." Lily took a step closer to James. "I'm worried too... can we stay kids together?" She placed a hand on his cheek. "Evans, I can't-" But she didn't listen and pulled their lips together. James pulled away as soon as he could. "I- I can't..."   
"Why? Haven't you wait for this for so long?" Lily was more confused than actually disappointed.   
James looked back to the picnic place. Suddenly everyone was staring at them... everyone apart from Regulus, he disappeared. Prongs just started to run, leaving Lily alone. He had to explain all this to his boyfriend. "Wait! Where are you going?!" 

"Regulus I-"   
"Go away!"   
James found Regulus under a tree, he heard him crying. "I love you..."   
"NO, YOU DON'T!"   
"Please let me explain..."   
"Marlene was right... why should someone like you hang out with someone like me?"  
"Don't listen to her!" James started to tear up as well. "She kissed me!Not the other way around!"   
"Why don't you go and ask her to be your girlfriend? You've always wanted that."   
"I did wanted that." James came closer. "But now I want you."   
Regulus shook his head. "Just don't ever talk to me again!"   
"Reggie-"  
"You've hurt me! Betrayed me! And broke my trust! Again!"   
"Please..." James started crying. "I know how important loyalty is for you, just like it is important for me as well. I made a mistake but it wasn't my fault at all. I didn't tell her about us because you didn't want it and I didn't her kiss her... she kissed me..."   
Regulus turned around to face James. James wasn't fair to him but neither was he to James. "I'm sorry..." He whispered. "I'm a terrible boyfriend."   
"No, you're not." James whipped away some tears and opened his arms for a hug before Regulus cuddles closely into them. "It was both our faults." He kissed his head. "But I just want you to know that there's nobody else I'd like to be my boy- or girlfriend."   
Reggie nodded.   
"I'm sorry too..." James whispered. "Are we ok again?"   
"Yes..."   
"Do you want to read 'Middlemarch' with me?"   
"You're such a prick!" Regulus chuckled.   
"I just want to change the subject."   
"Fine but... what will you tell Lily?"  
"That I'm happily taken!"   
"But-"  
"Happily taken with Juliet!"   
Both of them started to laugh. 

It couldn't be a better afternoon for the couple. James' friend were swimming again, telling each other rumours about why James didn't want to kiss Lily back, Regulus read aloud their book under the tree and James listened to his boyfriend while making a flower crown for him. It was one of those special moments where nobody was worried about the war or the Black family but deep inside, Regulus was sure that his parents will arrive at home soon and recognise that their sons disappeared.


	8. Chapter 8

James sat on the warm green grass of his garden, carefully stroking Regulus’ hair who placed his head on his boyfriend’s lap. Remus went out for a date with Sirius to calm him down after they finally got everything clear about the full moon with Severus Snape and Peter was going out with Mary, he still tried to become her boyfriend.   
That meant James and Regulus could be all alone.   
Almost all alone... James’ mum stayed at home.   
It was completely quite apart from some singing birds and the boys’ breathing. James enjoyed the warm sun shining down on his face, Regulus’ black curls between his fingers.   
“Don’t want to go and answer?” Regulus asked as the telephone in the background started to ring again. He didn’t bother to look up from his book he was reading. He did never bother to.   
“What?”  
“The thing called telephone. It ringed for the third time within two hours.”  
“I didn’t notice...” It was a lie, James often lied.   
Suddenly the ringing stopped before Mrs Potter started to yell. “James!” She said. “It’s for you!”   
“Who is it?” James carefully pushed Regulus away from his chest. His mum wasn’t supposed to see them together. He stood up and walked into the living room, Euphemia pressed the phone into her son’s hand before leaving again.   
“Hello?” James asked into the telephone receiver.   
“Hey Potter, it’s Lily... Evans. Am I disturbing you?” A soft voice answered.   
“No, no, it’s alright. What’s up?” The boy sat down on the couch, starting to fiddle around with the cord.   
“I just wanted to get things clear about yesterday...” She sighed and sat down on her bed. All her confidence suddenly disappeared.  
“Sure... I mean, what do you want to know?” James really didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t know what to say.   
“Why did you run away?”  
“I just can’t do that...”   
“Why not? You ran after me your whole life long and suddenly- puff...” She made a dramatic explosion with her arms which James couldn’t see of course.   
“Sirius told me to carry on and try something new.” It was right, Sirius said that but it was a stupid reason.   
“You’re literally the only person who will ever listen to him, Potter!” Lily started laughing, it sounded like a really stupid joke for her.   
“You’ve got your point...” James chuckled quietly. “What is the real reason?” The read haired girl asked with more confidence than a few minutes ago. Of course she was upset, she even cried into her room, getting comfort by Petunia. ‘Those damn boys!’ But whatever James meant, he would have had his reasons, right? “It’s just...” He took a deep breath. “I can’t tell you...”   
“Why not?”  
“Because it’s a secret...”   
“You’re in a relation ship with someone else and it’s a secret relationship.” Lily replied, crossing her arms.   
“How do you know?!” James asked with small shock in his voice. Maybe a bit too loud because he looked around, checking if Regulus heard him saying that. But the small boy was still lying outside, reading one of his 19th century books.   
“I didn’t but now I do.” Lily chuckled.   
“Please Evans, don’t tell anyone! I promised him to keep it a secr- I-I mean her!“  
“No, you don’t mean her...” Lily’s tiny smile completely faded. “Potter... are you- are you gay?” Lily didn’t have any problems with homosexuality, she totally accepted it but... James? A homosexual? She thought that he was really crushing on her... Suddenly there was a long pause, silence between both of them. James didn’t know what to say... “Potter? Are you still there?” Lily asked after a while, checking if James was still on the receiver. “Yes.” He whispered. “I actually don’t know... I’m also very confused but- but I really want that! My relationship with him!” James sighed, looking into the garden.   
“Who is it?” Evans asked.   
“Not important I-“ The boy whispered.  
“Potter!”   
“It’s Regulus...” He whispered, even more quietly than before.   
“Oh, I understand... Blacks are handsome, aren’t they?” Lily chuckled and James chuckled with her together. “Yes they are... anyway-“ He stopped giggling and his voice turned serious again. “Thank you for the call.”   
“No problem, really!” Lily smiled. “I hope you too will be happy together...”   
“You aren’t mad at me?” James’ voice was filled with a tone of worries.   
“No! Why should I?” Lily Evans had always power in her voice, something James liked at her. Regulus’ voice was much more tired, soft but sarcastic... he somehow liked that too. “I don’t know...” He replied.  
“Whatever... I should go now, my parents wanted to go and eat ice cream with me.” It wasn’t even a lie but Lily really wanted to end that conversation now. It was more awkward than helping.   
“Ok, have some great holidays, Evans! See you!”   
“Bye!” And both of them lied their telephones down and leaned back with a sigh. 

“It was a pretty long conversation.” Regulus looked up from his book as James walked back into the garden. “Aww, did you miss me, baby Black?” He grinned and sat down on the grass next to his boyfriend.  
“Ew, no. I was just wondering whom you were talking to.” Reggie looked back into his book and James rolled his eyes. His boyfriend was soooooo romantic and lovely... “Not important.” He just replied.   
Regulus put his book away and crossed his arms. “Who?” He asked again.   
“I won’t tell you.” James teased and kissed his boyfriend’s lips.   
“Why not? I thought we would stop with those secrets.”   
“Ok, good point.” James sighed before he continued talking. “It was just Evans.” He knew that Regulus wouldn’t like to hear that.   
“Ah, what did she want?”   
“She just wanted to get things straight because of yesterday...” James looked down on the floor.   
“Mhm... sTrAiGhT” Regulus started laughing and James joined him. He thought for a moment that Reggie actually changed the subject but he came back to it, right after they stopped laughing. “What did you tell her?”   
“Please don’t be made at me but I told her about us...” Jamie started to be more nervous than at the beginning of this conversation.   
“I knew you did.”   
“Why?” His voice had an accent of panic.   
“Because I haven’t expect anything else. You did it for your own good, did you? So she knows that you didn’t ditched her without a reason.”   
“No it’s not like that- Regulus, I didn’t know it was that much important for you!” James looked up again, directly into his boyfriend’s face.  
“It’s not the fact that I don’t want anyone to know that I’m a homosexual blood traitor. It’s about loyalty.”   
“Regulus I’m sorry-“  
“One of us will break the other’s heart. That’s all.”   
“What do you mean? ‘Hearts are made to be broken’?”   
Suddenly there was a small smile on the Black’s face. “I wanted to say that there is no point how this relationship should work but you actually quoted Oscar Wilde...” It was a small but such a beautiful smile and James couldn’t help and had to smile back. “You still think I’m totally stupid, do you?”   
Regulus shook his head, biting on his lower lip.   
“Why do you think that this relationship is pointless?” James asked after his smile faded.  
“I- I don’t know...” Reg’s smile faded as well and he turned away.   
“Do you even want this?” It was even hurtful to just ask something like that. James felt how his stomach started to get that uncomfortable feeling. His question got reacted by a nod. Regulus turned around again. “Do you want it, too?” Reg hardly tried to hide his emotions, James could see how he was literally forcing himself to. “More than anything else right now.” Potter took both hands of his boyfriend and pulled him closer. “I don’t think this is pointless.” He whispered softly. His warm breaths made Regulus feel even more comfortable before he softly placed a kissed on Reg’s neck, making him blush. 

The sun was already fading away as the other boys came home from going out. James and Regulus were sitting outside in the garden, each of them reading a book. “Sirius Black is seriously back!”   
“Sirius, stop the puns!” Remus shouted back and James jumped up from his chair to walk to the entry. “Hey, how were your dates?” He asked smiling. “Fine. How was yours?” Sirius asked laughing. “Which date?” James looked confused and Sirius just pointed to the garden with his head. “Just kidding.” He shook his head grinning and went out to check on his brother, while the others stayed inside. “Hi!” Sirius interrupted Regulus’ reading without even caring. “Mhm... How was your date?” He asked without even caring. “Great! We went out for a walk through the park and then we went for lunch into that Mexican restaurant. Peter’s favourite and Remus payed. Peter went swimming with Mary. How was your day?”   
“Great too. I was reading books.”   
“All day?” Sirius asked. “Yup, well I’m not like you. Reading is my way to get entertained.“ Regulus answered. “Have you heard anything about... you know- mother and father?” He asked his brother. “No and I don’t wanna talk about it.” Sirius acted pissed but actually he was really scared. He knew that their parents will come soon and search them. At least search Regulus. “You can’t just ignore the whole situation. It’s serio- it’s important.” He asked a pun of Sirius. Sirius stood up to join the marauders’ conversation, but Regulus was holding him on his sleeve. “We have to be prepared, otherwise they will get us back and punish us. You know that. We’re no free men.” He was scared too. His brother nodded before escaping Reg’s grip and going over to the others.


	9. Chapter 9

Nothing; that's what Walburga and Orion Black found at number 12 Grimmauld Place. At first their footsteps were quiet as they opened the heavy dark brown door to their mansion. It was shady inside like it always was. Just some lights were flickering in the background. "Where are they?" Walburga asked irritated as she saw Kreacher in the hallway. At first she thought that her sons were quiet and behaving in their rooms but she knew that they weren't like that. "I don't know, mistress. They weren't in their rooms or anywhere else." Kreacher replied and got slapped by Walburga. "You dirty useless creature! Why can’t you even take care of two bloody boys?!" She yelled at, before casted crucio on him. Orion searched through the house but nothing. "I'll stop as soon as you tell me where they are!" Walburga yelled but Kreacher didn't know anything, because the two boys left without a hint. Walburga finally gave up on torturing and decided to make her way to the ministry of magic with her husband together. The ministry always knows where underaged wizards are. 

James was still sleeping as Regulus woke up in shock that morning. His body was sweating and he was breathing heavily. “They’re searching us!” He yelled, which woke James up. “Who? Did you have a nightmare again?” He asked worried and took his boyfriend’s hand. “No, it wasn’t a nightmare! I’m sure! I need to see Sirius, right now!” James could see that Regulus was panicking. “You should take a bit time to calm down and-“ James tried to tell him but Reggie took away his hand. “Potter! Shut up and let me go!” James eventually gave in because he knew that Regulus wasn’t easy to be influenced by others. So as fast as they could, they were running to Sirius’ and Remus’ room. Remus woke up when the two boys stumbled into the room without even knocking. “What?” He didn’t really look surprised. When you’re friends with Sirius and James, there isn’t much that could surprise you anymore. “I need to talk to Sirius.” Regulus said with an annoyed look as he talked to Remus. Despite all the noise, Sirius was still sleeping like an angel in Remus arms. “What’s your intention?” Moony asked as he didn’t want to get any instructions from Regulus without a real reason. In fact Remus and Regulus didn’t really like each other. Regulus didn’t like Sirius’ friends because they were his brother’s favourite people and he got jealous fast, and Remus didn’t really like Regulus because they were quite similar at some point. He couldn’t really stand that. “None of your bloody business!” Regulus snapped. “Oh, I think Sirius still wants to sleep.” Remus answered smirking. “You idiot! How is it possible that my brother is attracted to such a big dick!” Regulus yelled. Both of the boys got furious really fast. “Well apparently he likes me but as you’re still single I suppose that nobody wants to stick around with your impoliteness.” Remus answered. Little did he know Regulus wasn’t single at all. “Oh where did that sudden confidence booster came from? Normally you’d describe yourself as a worthle-“, Regulus insulted back but James placed his hand on Regulus’ mouth in the right moment. “Enough now. Remus, we wouldn’t just came in if it wasn’t important at all.” Prongs explained calmly. Moony signed but gave in. “Fine”, he answered before sweetly waking up Sirius. “Wake up or this werewolf will eat you.” He whispered into Padfoot’s ear before tickling him. Siri woke up with a precious laugh but looked up embarrassed as he noticed the two other boys in his room. Peter was still sleeping in his room as he refused to share a bedroom with two love birds. “Oh, good morning.” Pads smiled embarrassed as he sat up. He free chest was lighted by the warm sunlight which came into the room through the window. Regulus didn’t hesitate to grab his brother’s arm, pulling him out of the room. “Hey, what’s up?” Sirius asked a bit worried. “I had a prophecy this night!” Reg whispered. “What was it about?” Sirius wasn’t sure if most of Regulus’ prophecies just were dreams but he always took them seriously. “About mother and father. They’re searching us! It’s just a matter of time till they or aurors will arrive here. We’re both still minors, that means the ministry of magic has our location. We won’t be the only ones who will get in trouble when they find out where we are. Mister and Misses Potter will be in danger as well. For children stealing or children hiding or-“, Regulus couldn’t stop talking like a maniac. Sirius touched both of his brother’s shoulders, trying to calm him down. “I believe and trust you, Regulus. Everything we need now is a good plan and calm. We won’t have much time. Mother and father will probably arrive in a few days. Until that day you have to be away from here. I will stay at the Potters’ in case something happens. I will be responsible for all of this.” Sirius replied. Regulus was impressed by this speech. Sirius didn’t always seem to be that smart actually. But at the same time the boy was terrified. “Where am I supposed to go to?” Regulus asked. “I have no clue. You have to search some good places to hide but I can’t protect you this time. We’re better off when we take different trails.” Sirius explained. “It would’ve been so much easier if I just stayed at home.” Regulus sighed and looked down to the floor. Sirius put his hand on Reg’s cheek to lift his head up again and face his brother. “It would’ve been easier for sure but it also would’ve been the wrong way in the end. I know the life at home isn’t the life you want. It’s the life our parents want us to want. You just let it happen. I know you’re better than it. You have strength and intelligence. You’re just a kid, Regulus. I don’t want you to become one of those deatheaters they will create. You can be sarcastic, selfish and mean but deep down we’re the same light hearted person. That’s why we’re brothers.” Sirius replied with such a calmness and wiseness that it slowly made Regulus tear up before they hugged each other. “I thought you were just a stupid, naive git.” Regulus laughed quietly between his tears. “It would be naive to say that everything will be alright but at least I hope it will.” Sirius answered his brother. “I love you, little brother.” He added and petted Regulus’ head. “I love you, too.” He replied before letting go. It would’ve been embarrassing if anyone saw them together like that. At this moment Regulus decided that this summer might become the worse in the end but yet it has already been the best as well.

For breakfast all the boys were sitting at the table in the garden together again. Regulus was still thinking about all the plans but between the marauders nobody noticed him anyway. Only Mrs Potter who was watering the plants managed to catch a glimpse at the boy who poked with the fork in his food, looking up into the sky at the flying birds. She thought of catching him up later when he was all alone. She knew who Regulus was. Euphemia knew a lot about the people around her. She had a great ability of understanding others’ feelings and thoughts. She and her husband moved from India to England before James was born to afford a better living and future for their son. It wasn’t easy to be on another continent and living in another country at first but with her great understanding, politeness and love, Euphoria made many friends fast. “We have many endless summer nights left. What will we do with them? We usually have so many ideas? C’mon guys, I’m up for some marauders action!” Sirius announced at the breakfast table. It was right that they still had many days left until the summer ended but only a few days until everything might start to change. Neither Sirius nor Regulus have talked to the others about the prophecy yet. None of them dared to possible ruin the last days. They wanted to enjoy the last free days and not set everyone on panic and worries. Sirius could easily overplay and forget such emotions because he was a big optimist, often had a bad memory and constantly lived in the present but while he was already planning the next fun activities, Regulus couldn’t stop thinking about the coming days. He was a pessimist, couldn’t forget nor forgive easily and constantly thought of his future, always planning. The two brothers couldn’t be more different at first sight but deep inside they were the same. “Could we do something that includes Regulus?” James asked politely. He didn’t want to keep his secret boyfriend out of everything. “James is right. We’re the marauders but we can’t always accept Regulus to be out of it all alone all the time.” Peter replied. “It’s fine.” Regulus answered and looked up to the others as he overheard the conversation. “I’m not your friend and I respect that. I don’t even want to do stupid things with you guys. I will just read or draw or whatever.” He added before standing up from his chair and walking inside the house. The perfect time for Euphoria, but she wasn’t the only one who had the idea of following the boy. James stood up as well but he noticed the other boys’ confused reactions and his mother’s wink, so he sat down again before Sirius continued with his talk. Regulus went directly into his room. He just wanted to be alone. Maybe to cry or melancholically lie around and stare at the ceiling or taking a shower but he knew that someone was following him. Seconds later Euphoria knocked on the door of James’ bedroom. “You can come in.” Reggie answered as he lied down on the huge bed. The sun was brightly shining into the bedroom and let Regulus’ body brightly shine. His blouse was flattering by the cool wind which blew through the half opened window into the room. “Hey, it’s me.” Euphoria smiled as she saw Regulus confused look because this boy actually thought that either James or Sirius were following him. “We don’t really know each other yet, do we?” Euphoria asked sweetly who came in and sat down on the bed next to Regulus after a permission. Reggie shrugged with his shoulders after he sat up. “People rarely know me at all. I wonder if I even know myself. I don’t know what I want, who I am or who I want to be.” He explained. “You’re so young. You have so much time left to find out. The only important thing is to just be yourself and not be someone people expect or want you to be. As a child, your parents will tell you how to behave and things like that but they should never give you an identity. I know how cruel your parents are. I have never known them personally but I have heard a lot of them so far. Fleamont’s brother married a Black and since that day we haven’t heard of him anymore. Whatever anyone tells you, blood is just biological, it neither defines you nor makes you choose your friends.” She explained. “Thank you.” Regulus answered quietly. “I know who you are. It’s time for you to find out about it on yourself as well. Your parents aren’t the only thing you’re worrying about right now, are they?” Euphoria asked. “It’s just- you’re not going to tell anyone!” Regulus made sure. “Promise!” James’ mum replied. “On one hand I want to be friends with the others but on the other hand I’m jealous and if I had a third hand, I’d say that I also like being alone. I just don’t know. It feels wrong to be the fifth one. Most of them just want me to join their activities because they want to be politely but secretly they know they’d be better off without me.” Regulus explained. Why did he trust Euphoria so easily? He normally didn’t trust anyone at all. Well that’s Euphoria’s secret. She’s the loving mum and great listener everyone could dream of. “You should talk to them.” She suggested. “No, that would embarrassing!”, said Regulus. “But the only fair option. Stop pitying yourself! What’s so embarrassing of talking? I’ve already found out that you don’t openly talk about your feelings but you should try it. In the Potter household no one will be judged for any things like that.” She told him with a smile. Regulus sighed as he looked away and all though he didn’t say it out lout, he knew she was right. He pitied himself way too often but also immediately minded social contacts. There was a difference between being an introvert and a coward. What was he even scared of? Regulus has never been one of those cool kids and he didn’t plan on being one, so he couldn’t risk anything. “Thank you.” He replied to Mrs Potter after a while of silence and made his way downstairs again. The four marauders were still sitting in the garden and discussing plans. “I suggest we should go shopping.” Sirius said. “I have no money, Sirius.” Moony answered, before he spotted Regulus stepping outside into the garden. “I suggest going to one of those cheap muggle cafés where you actually don’t get coffee but those disgusting and unhealthy milkshakes with fat cookies and too sweat cupcakes. I come with you and we invite the girls. James pays.” Reg didn’t feel more proud yet than in this one moment. All the other boys were staring at him but not in confusion, they stared because this guy had the only smart idea of them today.

“And that’s why you need me.” Regulus explained about smartness on the way to the next café of the suburb. “You wish, Black. Peter, James and Sirius might not be the most smartest guys in some situations but there’s still me. Try beating a pure genius.” Remus answered. Remus owned a dangerous mix of self hate and self confidence. He often thought that he was worthless but in front of his marauders friends he felt powerful. And they didn’t mind, in fact they were so happy anytime they catch Remus feeling useful, intelligent and having self confidence because the werewolf really was incredible smart and not useless at all. “That will be easy.” Regulus laughed. Regulus felt similar but not the exact same like Remus did. He often acted like he was better than others but inside he was hurt, lonely and felt useless as well. He just felt a bit better because of his last name but a name doesn’t define who you are. The boy was on his way to slowly learn this fact. Anyway Remus and Regulus owned the same doses of sarcasm, so though they didn’t like each other yet because of their similar feelings, they spoke the same language of sarcasm. When you looked carefully at them, you could catch some amused grins during their convos. James caught them and it made him smile because he loved Regulus’ smiles, grins and smirks. Finally the marauders arrived at the café. It had a brillant American flair. Outside the café you could see a banner with the name “Milky Way” on it, like the name of the store. The outdoor walls were white but inside the café the walls were pastel pink and the red leather couches matched to the white and red tables. There was also a little bar. The four boys sat down at a place, waiting for the girls, who arrived soon. Marlene and Dorcas entered the café first, holding hands and after them Mary and Lily arrived. Marlene wore some hot pants with an ACDC band shirt, Dorcas had an orange and yellow coloured flower printed dress on, Marlene wore a white top with a red skirt and Lily was dressed in a short light green dress. They all looked like four pretty models but not dressed up to impress the boys, in fact they were just pretty for themselves. “Oh crap!”, Regulus whispered under his breath. “Something’s not alright?” Sirius asked him who was sitting next to his brother and James. He was the one who invited the girls. “Why did you invite Evans?” Regulus asked Siri whispering. “Well James can’t get a date with Lily, right? Then he will get a group meeting with Lily!” Pads answered convinced. Reg knew that his brother didn’t know anything about the relationship between James and him but he was mad anyway. Last time was a disaster and Regulus couldn’t live through that again. It would indeed make him feel worthless. James already told him that he was talking with Lily about all of this but Regulus got jealous easily. Sirius was oblivious enough to not notice his brother’s nervousness and Reg was skilled enough to put on his emotionless face whenever he felt the urge to hide his feelings. He always felt that urge, that made it easier. But little did he know Remus was watching him, how he looked suspicious at Lily and James. It must be some type of jealousy but he couldn’t point out if Regulus wanted Lily or James. Lily took a seat in front of James. She noticed Regulus’ looks as well. She couldn’t tell what kind of emotionless expression on his face it was but she recognised how the boy often looked to her and Potter and how he didn’t really keep conversations going. “So James and you get along really well, huh?” Sirius asked Regulus as this boy still didn’t talk to anyone. The reason was not the concentrating jealousy, it was his lack of similarities with the others. He had nothing in common with the others apart from some stuff with Remus. Marlene was too aggressiv, dominant and rock obsessed for him, Dorcas was too nice and too funky but at least they had the same interests in book, Marlene was a bit weird and boring in his eyes, Peter was stupid for him, Remus and Lily his rivals and Sirius his brother. James was an idiot, snobby, athletic, had different hobbies - but yet Regulus wouldn’t like to talk to anyone but him. He knew that they couldn’t be alone that often as long as their relationship was a secret. Regulus nodded to Sirius as an answer after he took a sip of his milkshake. “I’m glad you do. James is like a brother for me and you’re my brother, too. That makes us all brothers and I think it’s important for brothers to like each other.” Sirius explained with a bright smile on his face. Regulus gave him a small smile back. He was glad that his brother was so happy after all that has happened and is still happening. Reggie was proud of Siri’s strength and braveness. They remained silent for a while before Regulus asked: “But it’s illegal to date your brother, right?” Well, actually the Blacks didn’t really make a difference between relatives and lovers. The boys’ parents were cousins. Sirius had to laugh for a second. “Well, yes, but because James and I have different blood, we could date.” Pads winked. James probably overheard that conversation because he started to burst out in laughter. Regulus just sighed while shaking his head before starting a conversation with Dorcas about Shakespeare. Marlene gave him some good book recommendations as well. After a while Regulus had to go to the bathroom. It felt weird talking so much with Sirius’ friends. It was fun but the introvert needed some alone time to rest. In fact he wasn’t all alone. “Why are you following me?” Regulus asked as he saw Remus appearance behind him in the mirror. “I know you’re jealous.” Remus answered. “Why do you even care? So or so, it’s none of your business.” He answered, not turning around to the boy but talking with him through the reflection. “Jealousy hurts people. Your probably just jealous because you usually always get what you want. What a shame your sir name doesn’t give you any profit in this group.” Remus replied next to Regulus’ ear, too close for him. “Stay away from me, you bastard!” Reg yelled before Remus took a few steps backwards. “You know nothing about me! I already have the person I want but I usually don’t get what I want. You really think I cherish my name this much, huh? Why am I here then? I could have stayed at home but apparently you just think Sirius was the only one getting tortured. Someday I might could get profit by my name but I don’t want it if it means getting tortured, manipulated, pushed around and getting told what to do until I marry somehow who’s probably related to me. I know you’re in pain but I’m too. You don’t know how I feel and you will never, just like I will never feel how you feel. But you should at least try to understand my situation and support someone who’s like you.” Regulus explained. “What do you mean?” Remus asked, before Reg turned around to him. “You’re a werewolf and you’re depressed just like me. I already know that since a while, but I didn’t tell anyone, don’t be worried. I don’t almost kill myself every full moon but I get crucioed by my own parents. It’s not the curse alone that hurts me and drives me insane, it’s the fact that it’s spelled by the only two person who were supposed to love you unconditionally and keep you save. I have to believe that there must be a reason. Why would they just do that? I have to believe that I’m at least something better than others, to not feel that incredible worthless.” Regulus was so mad but he couldn’t help turning all of his sadness in anger that he finally gave in and started to tear up in front of Remus. “Why don’t you understand this?! Why do you hate me so much? Is it because of Sirius? Because I’m not the one who hurt him. He saved me from some tortures but I have never wanted this. You’re a werewolf and even you are loved! But why can’t I be loved, too? You’re the best boyfriend for Sirius. I don’t care if we’re rivals or friends but just think before you talk and try to do at least understand me. You’re much more privileged than you could think at first. Now, leave me alone.” Regulus left Remus in shook. It was so much information at once. Black knew his secret and his feelings and he truly opened up about his family to someone for the first time. Maybe Regulus was right, Remus thought. He wasn’t the nicest and most opened to him, though he didn’t like to be treated that way himself. He felt helpless. While Remus was still standing all alone in the bathroom, trying to process everything that just happed, Regulus whipped away his tears and left the café. Nobody noticed how he rushed out, only James did. “Give me a second.” He told his mates before staying up with no more words. His boyfriend was sitting in front of the store on the floor, hiding his head between his knees. Why do all of his days get complicated ruined at some point? There wasn’t a single day when he felt perfectly happy. James silently sat down next to him. He knew that Regulus didn’t want to talk right now, but he needed company during his silence. “Let’s go home! We can be alone there.” James whispered after a while of silence before reaching out for Regulus’ hand. “Thank you.” Black replied before staying up and going home together with his boyfriend. That moment was so intimate that they didn’t even care if strangers saw them holding hands. The others were still at the café, just fine for the two boys to spend some time alone.

When James and Regulus arrived at home, the house was comfortable quiet. Just the sound of James’ parents, quietly talking to each other about their day and the singing of the birds which came in through the open windows. “Something’s on your mind since a whole while already.” James pointed out as him and his boyfriend were lying in bed next to each other. “It’s nothing important. Let’s not talk about it.” Regulus meant. It wasn’t selfish of him, actually he just wanted to protect James. He didn’t want to see him sad and worried after telling him all the terrible things and experiences which were wandering through his mind but staying silent hurts his partner as well. “We’re boyfriends, baby Black. We’re supposed to talk about everything together. I’m just worried and I want to help you.” James explained. “You can’t help me, nobody can. Also I prefer the term ‘partner’.” He replied. “Why, partner?” Jamie asked smirking. “Partner is just the perfect word for it. Nobody will know if you’re my romantic partner, my criminal partner, my investigation partner or my business partner.” Regulus explained. “Sounds wonderful.” James smiled and started to stroke Regulus’ black curly hair. It smoothly wandered between his fingers, filling his stomach with thousands of butterflies, but when he looked down to the boy’s sad expression, the butterflies turned into thorns. James always got hurt seeing any of friends being sad. He was scared of not being able to help them all, to loose them to their sadness, yet he was so helpless, having no idea how to help. “We don’t have to talk about it, but you should at least know, that I’m always there for you.” He said, letting his hand go from Regulus’ head. “I feel so terrible.” The boy answered, breathing heavily and covering his face with his hands. His whole body hurt from all of those negative emotions he felt at the same time, floating him. He begged his body to stop, but his mind took control of the rest. “It’s ok to cry, it will make you feel better, afterwards. Trust me! I won’t tell anyone.” James advised and opened his arms before Regulus curled up to him, finally starting to cry into James’ chest, while they were lying down together, cuddling. How could he not trust him. It felt so good. James was so warm and smelled good, his arm were tightly wrapped around Regulus’ as a symbol of never letting him go, slowly placing kisses on the head. Neither of them spoke a word. They just enjoyed being there for each other. “I love you, Regulus Black. I will do anything to protect you and make you happy.” James’ whispered. It didn’t make Regulus stop crying because now the boy was crying for being thankful and not believing that he has such a perfect man. 

It was already late when Regulus woke up again. Crying had made him so tired that he fell asleep. With closed eyes he could hear loud laughter upstairs. For a moment he thought that James has already left to hang out with his friends he had left at the café but Reg still felt the warmth around him which belonged to his boyfriend. His fingers slowly stroke Regulus’ cheeks and chin, feeling the perfect bone structure, just like the one of an expensive marble sculpture. It was sunset as Regulus opened his eyes. The sky was orangish and slowly turned dark blue on the upper part. It was a beautiful colour game. “Thank you, I’m so glad to have you by my side.” Regulus whispered, before James looked down to him with a smile. Reg knew it was time to talk about it all with James. He owned him an explanation to build a serious relationship with trust and understanding. So he started to tell him what happened that day with Remus and how he was jealous, until he came to the most hurtful part, taking James’ hand. “I have to go soon.” He just said. “What do you mean?” James asked. “My biggest wish is to stay here with you forever but my parents are searching Sirius and me. This wasn’t a dream, I’m sure. I can’t stay here, they will hurt you and your parents will get problems with the ministry.” Regulus explained in panic. “We will find a plan to not be separated. I know you think that you’re tough but it’s too dangerous for you alone.” James answered. “Potter-“, Regulus wanted to protest worriedly but James wasn’t done yet. “Please trust me! I could never forgive myself if I letted you go this easily. I have an idea, I will bring you dinner upstairs in a minute and tomorrow you will go on a date with me. Just the two of us, wherever you want. Then we can work on a plan and have some time for us alone. I already have some excuses for the others.” James said. “Your excuses are ridiculous, Potter!” Regulus rolled his eyes. “But they sometimes work.” James replied, before he had to tickle Regulus. He wanted him to be happy and to laugh, so badly, at least just for a moment. “James! Stop it!” Regulus laughed loudly, before Prongs smiling took a break and the boys ended up kissing. Regulus has already seen through James’ tickling intention, so he purely smiled during the kiss. This smile was for his partner only, just for him, to make him happy, too. At least in that moment, when the boys couldn’t stop kissing, everything was finally fine for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Story will be continued and updated soon ;)


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